Baka & Test: Ask A Baka
by Zancrow
Summary: It's time for the tests at the Academy; and you are the one who will ask the questions! Ask any of our protagonists, antagonists, whatever anything you want and they'll answer if they wish to pass the grade…
1. 00 ASK

**Baka & Test: Ask A Baka**

**Rating: **K+

**Pairings: **Canon/Crack

**Genre: **Humor, Romance

**Disclaimer:** I don't own this…

**Notes: **I Always wanted to make an Ask A ***** fanfic, even if I think they are technically not allowed. Whatever, I'll take it down if need be. Beforehand, however, I just want to get this underway. Feel free to ask any question you want, to any character you want, and as many as you want. Just have fun. – Answers To Come Next Chapter.

**Song:** Me In The Shower – "Ask An Idiot"

* * *

The Author Rants About:

Shortness

This rant is short. The end.


	2. 01 Perverted Boys & Kinky Girls

**Baka & Test: Ask A Baka**

**Rating: **K+

**Pairings: **Canon/Crack

**Genre: **Humor, Romance

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own this…

**Notes: **Here's the first true chapter of this "story", with answers a plenty from all your favorite characters. I've placed all of the questions as per the story's format, as in, in style of a true test. Teacher's comments included. Anyway, keep them questions coming! – More Answers To Come Next Chapter.

**Song:** U2 – "Hold Me, Trill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me"

-0-

Partial Test #1

1. (For Kouta) When are you going to go out with Aiko? (From Latios1)

- Kouta: My heart belongs to my camera. I won't waste my time on something I cannot get juicy photos out of.

- Teacher's Comments: That's too vague there… Are we thinking about the same Aiko?

2. (For Aiko) When are you going to go out with Kouta? (From Latios1)

- Aiko: I have to tell sensei that I got the same question as Muttsulini. Weird one too… Anyways, "go out"? What's up with that? I have something much more in-character planned for my dear voyeur Kouta…

- Teacher's Comments: Where were girls like you when I was in school…

3. (For Aiko) Are you jealous that Kouta spends most of his time spying on girls and trying to get panty shots? (From Yoky2cool4u)

- Aiko: Me again, huh? Jealous, of what? One simple flash of my skirt is enough to get him back on the floor and… my, that sound too kinky. Although, I must admit that it is a bit annoying to have him running around trying (and failing) to get panty shots all the time, when all he needs to do is just ask… But, then again, I do like that part of him.

- Teacher's Comments: Miss Aiko, may I speak to you after class…

4. (For Shouko) Have you ever thought of not harming Yuuji when you go out on a 'date'? (From Yoky2cool4u)

- Shouko: …Love hurts.

- Teacher's Comments: …Too short.

- Shouko: …Says you.

- Teacher's Comments: …Funny…

5. (For Himeji) Have ever tried the food you make? If not I dare you to eat it! (From Yoky2cool4u)

- Himeji: I don't think I have. It does smell nice and the ingredients I use are all but the best, so I can assume it's good. I guess I've just been too preoccupied with giving it to someone in time to give it a try. I did bring Yoshii-kun a few treats, so I guess I could it one or two before giving them to him…

- Teacher's Comments: Today we lost one of our brightest and most valued students. In pace requiescat.

6. (For Kouta) Will you ever stop taking (perverted) pictures of girls ... and Hideyoshi? (From Yoky2cool4u)

- Kouta: Can your heart stop beating? Can you stop drinking water? Can you stop channel surfing when nothings on? Then I too cannot stop what I need to live. Especially not Hideyoshi.

- Teacher's Comment: There's too much that I should get involved in that I will pretend I didn't just read.

7. (For Akihisa) Why are you so stupid and your sister so smart? Have you ever thought of having your sister tutor you? And last but not least, why are you so stupid? (From Yoky2cool4u)

- Akihisa: Why do I always get multiple questions… This wasn't even in the book… Ok, calm down, and think. First, I'm stupid because I fell down the stairs, into the street and got run over by a bunch of sombreros wearing burritos. Second, no way. She just saw an Adam Sandler movie and the first thing she would do would be to strip every time I got an answer right. No thanks! And last (but not least), I was born that way, then given to adoption, and was never taken to Mario Land… Did I pass?

- Teacher's Comment: What is wrong with you? (PS: Sombreros means hats; you got run over by hats?)

8. (For Shimada) What do you like about Aki(hisa)? (From misslaly19)

- Shimada: Figures, first question I'd get… …Well, I suppose it's maybe the way he acts, mostly, around me and around everyone else. That carefree comical side of him. Or maybe it's the way he defends what he believes in and those he cares about. Or, maybe it's when I met him. I can be a bit rough on him at times but he never gets mad or let's that ruin our friendship… Or maybe it's all of the above…

- Teacher's Comments: That was sweet… Are we thinking about the same Akihisa?

9. (For Himeji) What cup are you? (I'm a woman) (From misslaly19)

- Himeji: Good for you? I am too… My cup? Do you mean as in coffee cups or tea cups? Is that like those "what anime/manga character are you" type of question? Because I wouldn't know. If what you mean is bust size, then I'm a size F… If the databooks are to be believed. I know, I know. Lame pun… Regardless, if you're a woman then you know that big breasts aren't always the best…

- Teacher's Comments: I pray for the safety of you back… And for your safety against boys…

10. (For Hideyoshi) Are you really a man? Please, will you marry me? (From misslaly19)

- Hideyoshi: Of course I'm a man, or boy at least. I know my looks scream otherwise, but I'm a full fledge boy, not a girl or a gender all on my own… And I don't really know how to answer the other question. Are you being serious? I don't even know you, not that I'm saying no it's just that I would like to know you a bit better, if you're okay with it at least, I mean… I don't really know what to say.

- Teacher's Comment: Rejoice boy, fangirls like them bishounens… What am I on?

11. (For Yuuko) Do you have a brother (cough/sister/cough) complex? (From misslaly19)

- Yuuko: Pardon? I do not have a brother complex. Brother complex, by the way. Hideyoshi may be as feminine as humanly possible, but he is very much a boy by all means… And that's not really helping my brother complex argument, huh?

- Teacher's Comment: Insert funny comment here.

12. (For Akihisa) What is phi? If your answer is wrong you must eat Himeji's food. (From misslaly19)

- Akihisa: What? The test is threatening me? I always knew they would do this to me one day. And phi? Erm, is it pharmaceutical heroes industries? Peace hills introverted? People have imaginations? Dr. phil? Is it what Himeji uses to cook, because if it is, it would explain a lot.

- Teacher's Comment: φ

13. (For Shimada) Aren't you embarrassed that Muttsulini takes photos of your undies? Why do you like to hurt Aki(hisa)? Can you be nice to him? (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Shimada: Of course I am. I don't like getting my underwear peaked at every single time a gust of wind hits or I bend half an inch. Thing is that no matter how many times I break his camera with his skull, he pops another one out. As for Aki, it's not that I like to hurt him, it's just that I'm a bit possessive, I guess. I get easily jealous and maybe I do go overboard at times. Hey, I've been trying…

- Teacher's Comment: When you said he "pops another one out", did you mean a camera or his skull?

14. (For Himeji) Do you realize your cooking is lethal? (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Himeji: Apparently not as much as everybody else. Is it really that bad? I don't intend it to be. I know I'm no expert but I do make it with the best intention in mind. I'll have to start tasting it from now on…

- Teacher's Comments: Just take their word for it…

15. (For Akihisa) You are an idiot, why is that? You got two (2) girls flocking for you? How dense are you? (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Akihisa: Multiple questions again… First, well an ancient prophecy once said that an idiot would be born into the world and that he would go to school in a sailor shirt and be forever hailed as an idiot. Second, I caramba, did I read that wrong! For a second I read something else. Oh, okay. Flocking, that means going after or something, right? Who, what did I do to them? Why are they after me? Are they working for the Mafia? The Godfather? Reborn? And last, very.

- Teacher's Comment: First time I've seen more question marks in the answer than in the question…

16. (For Yuuji) Why you not marry Shouko? Give a good reason and not those you say in the anime. (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Yuuji: Marriage? I don't want to be forced into it. Shouko sees it all like a fairy tale or something, but I'm more realistic. She and I simply don't match. And the ones I said before are good reasons, she just doesn't understand.

- Shouko: …Denial is the first step.

- Yuuji: Get back to your own damn test!

- Teacher's Comment: Second step is anger, then bargaining, followed by depression and finally comes acceptance… The more you know.

17. (For Shouko) Are you on drugs? You are really obsessive with Yuuji. (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Shouko: …No, Yuuji is my only drug. …That sounds cliché. And, I know I'm obsessive. A girl has to protect what is rightfully hers. Better than living in the what-if.

- Teacher's Comment: As always, right to the point. Well done Shouko.

18. (For Yuuko) Since you are smart, will anybody hear a tree falling about a five (5) mile radius? Are you single? I find you are cute and attractive and also amusing. (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Yuuko: Probably not, unless the tree in unnaturally large and tall, which would probably would not be the case. There would also be many things (buildings, cars, other trees) which would obstruct the sound, not to mention other sounds as well. Chances are you wouldn't hear it. As for the other question, I am, for now. Not that I'm actively looking or anything. Thanks for the complements however, I'm glad someone thinks that way.

- Teacher's Comment: Several types of animals may pick up the sound (faintly) if there are few obstructions, but humans would probably not notice a thing.

19. (For Hideyoshi) Did you get an operation? I'm still confused if you are a male or female. Can I date your sister? (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Hideyoshi: I did not, I was born this way-

- Akihisa: Lady Gaga reference!

- Hideyoshi: I'm being serious, stop writing on my paper. I am by all means a male, even if I don't look it too much. As for dating my sister, that all depends on Aneue. If she wants…

- Teacher's Comment: If you're going to reference pop culture icons starting with Lady Gaga you're way too out of it.

20. (For Aiko) Do you enjoy making Muttsulini waste his blood cause of your act? (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Aiko: Yes, I very much do.

- Teacher's Comment: Poor boy.

21. (For Kouta) Do you have any pictures on Yuuko? Why are you so easy to have nosebleed? (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Kouta: I do, but they're not of my best quality. She is very hard to capture "just right". And, I get easily excited…

- Teacher's Comment: Hey now, keep this K+.

22. (For FFF) Are you guys terrorist? Or just retarded? You guys need a therapist. (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- FFF (#1): We are not terrorists. We stand together for what is right. We believe in equality, for every member of the male species. We a-

- FFF (#2): If you say "we" so much then why are you the only one answering. "We" should all answer "our" question.

- FFF (#1): No! I'm doing this for the team.

- FFF (#3): Says who?

- FFF (#1): Says me!

- FFF (#4): What about "we"?

- FFF (#1): What about "we"?

- FFF (#4): Wha-?

- FFF (#5): Stop confusing him. He's a bit slow.

- FFF (#6): Retarded is an offensive word, and the exam has it. Can we sue?

- FFF (#1): Get away from my desk you hood wearing idiots, I don't know if you've been told but these things need to be washed daily!

- FFF (#7): I think we can sue. Most definetely.

- FFF (#2): I agree.

- FFF (#1): Don't ignore me!

- Teacher's Comment: It's a sad day when you're all counted as a single stu-

- FFF (#1): Who asked you?

- Teacher's Comment: Don't take the paper away!

- FFF (#8): Hi!

- Teacher's Comment: …

23. (For Kubo) Have you gone to a doctor? You are very disturbing. (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Kubo: Disturbing? Why? Is it because of my love for Akihisa? Why is a true love that is hotter that the burning sun considered disturbing? I love Akihisa and I will fight for him. Maybe my attempts are a bit over-the-top, but I do not regret them. I need no doctor!

- Teacher's Comment: I do not want to know what you have done.

24. (For Shimizu) Have you gone to a doctor? You are very disturbing. (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Shimizu: I have not, since I have no illness. Akihisa is not worthy on my dear onee-sama's love, therefore, I must protect her. I'll admit that he's not as bad as I originally thought, but he's not that much better. I find it uncalled for to call me disturbing because of that.

- Teacher's Comment: What have you people been doing?

25. (For Kaoru (The Principal)) Why no cooking class? That could help Aki(hisa)'s grade. (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Kaoru: I understand that cooking class would help many students, Akihisa included, but administering a new class into the ESB would be an arduous task. That, and I fear for everyone's safety once Mizuki gets involved…

- Teacher's Comment: Principal, boss? Why are you taking this test? If I grade you wrong, am I fired?

26. (For Souichi (AKA: Ironman)) Why do you like to give tests? Just to torture your students? (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Ironman: I like to give tests because it's my job, be they normal tests or the remedial classes. I will admit that I do enjoy making an entrance and taking the screaming and crying students away, but it's all for their own good. Which is as good as an excuse as I need.

- Teacher's Comment: You too? You know, answers like that make your reputation all the harder to change…

27. (For Akira) Why are you incest with your bro? (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Akira: He's just too cute, is all. I do have the best intentions for Aki, be they what they may, but he's too innocent. Many of those girls could take advantage of him and leave him ruined for marriage, and then being as girls are, not take the responsibility for it. Aki is my baby, and as such, I'm with him.

- Teacher's Comment: That's… disturbing.

28. (For Shimada) Have you considered how your actions really hurt Aki(hisa) even if you like him? Deal with his idiocy. (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Shimada: I know I get out of hand sometimes, and I'm trying to fix it. But… he does go overboard a bit too, you know, so it isn't all me. If he would be an idiot and a perv with just me, then I guess I could look the other- …What are you making me say?

- Teacher's Comment: Someone once said the first step is denial.

29. (For Himeji) Have you considered how your actions really hurt Aki(hisa) even if you like him? Deal with his idiocy. (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Himeji: I didn't really consider it like that… You're not referring to the cooking again, are you? I swear I'll taste it beforehand, promise. Also, I guess I can get too jealous of how he is with other girls and such, and I don't have an excuse. He… He's a great boy, and I'm afraid he'll go after someone else. I don't want that, and I'm yet not strong enough to hold him any other way. I… I wouldn't know how too.

- Teacher's Comment: Are we still thinking about the same Akihisa? Really?

30. (For Aiko) Are you guys (Aiko & Kouta) dating? I find your relationship amusing. (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Aiko: Not really, but thanks for the compliment thou. Regardless of what Muttsulini will say in his answer, I know what strings to pull to make him look my way. And to keep him looking my way. I find it amusing to, but I don't know if for the same reasons…

- Teacher's Comment: Really, youth these days…

31. (For Kouta) Are you guys (Aiko & Kouta) dating? I find your relationship amusing. (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Kouta: Don't listen to what she said in her answer. We are not. We won't. End of discussion.

- Teacher's Comment: No comment.

32. (For Shimizu) Why not go out with each other (Shimizu & Kubo), since you have the same goals? Regardless of reasons. (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Shimizu: Me? With Kubo? As if. I don't know what goals you're referring to but I for one do not want to get into Akihisa's pants. And he better not want to get into my dear onee-sama's. If I were to give men a try I'd at least go for Hideyoshi.

- Teacher's Comment: I smell a crack pairing…

33. (For Kubo) Why not go out with each other (Shimizu & Kubo), since you have the same goals? Regardless of reasons. (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Kubo: Blasphemy! My goals are nothing like those of Shimizu, aside from keeping Akihisa and Shimada very, very apart from one another. That does not imply me and Shimizu getting together. I mean, she's a good girl and everything, but, BUT, that's all there is to it. Nothing more; nothing less.

Teacher's Comment: That won't stop the fanfiction writers…

34. (For Yuuji) Are you guys best friends (Yuuji & Akihisa)? Why many like to target you guys? (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Yuuji: Yeah, we are. We've known each other for a while, and we're practically bros. I guess people like to target us because the mistake the situation he and I are in. Most people see us as the guy who has the number one student and all around beauty at his feet (Me) or the guy who has two beautiful girls after him who are about to reach a ménage-à-trois pact with him (Akihisa). In reality, we are just slaves in these girls evil plots. We are the victims here, dammit! Stop with all the abuse!

- Teacher's Comment: I still fail to see what the problem is…

- Yuuji: Give it a try yourself teach.

- Teacher's Comment: No thanks.

35. (For Akihisa) Are you guys best friends (Yuuji & Akihisa)? Why many like to target you guys? (From Angel Of Light And Hope)

- Akihisa: Of course! Even if he uses me at times, and gets me beaten up regularly, but then again, all of my friends do that. It's normal. I don't know why I'm being targeted. I don't even know by who. Will someone tell me? My life is in danger and I don't know why!

- Teacher's Comment: Girls fight over this…

- Yuuji: Give it a try yourself teach.

- Teacher' Comment: Wrong paper… I hope.

36. (For Akihisa) When are you going to tell Shimada you love her? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Akihisa: Well my dear K.O. Monkey Pornography, I have no idea what you are talking about. Minami is not something to be loved… That sounds harsh, let me try again. I… I really don't know how to answer this. Saying I don't care about her is a lie, but love. Do you mean love as in marriage? Or as in sister? Or friend? Or super hero? Or Pitbull? It's too vague…

- Teacher's Comment: You're existence is vague…

37. (For Yuuji) How fast can you run? I suggest you begin now. (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Yuuji: What? Is Physical Education a part of this test now too? I can run pretty fast, but I've never measured the speed of it. Depends on what's behind me, I guess.

- Teacher's Comment: Considering the next question, I would presume a "Shouko" would be behind you.

38. (For Shouko) What would your reaction be if I told you that Yuuji got drunk last night and married my seventeen year old sister? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Shouko: …Possibly a mixture between Kuudere and Yandere, a la School Days. What would your reaction be when you learn you have one less sister, and one less brother-in-law.

- Teacher's Comment: I won't say nice boat.

39. (For Kouta) Do you love Aiko? When are you going to admit you love Aiko? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Kouta: No and never.

- Teacher's Comment: Too short.

- Kouta: Bite me.

- Teacher's Comment: Hey.

40. (For Akihisa) Why won't you return Minami's kiss? At least she doesn't try to kill you with your cooking. And another thing... do you ever think before you speak? Minami would stop hurting you if you just used your brain a little! (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Akihisa: Why do I get the longest questions? Ok, let's go. First, ah… erm… Second, my cooking doesn't kill me. It's the lack of food that might. Lastly, I really don't, and I guess you're right. Maybe if I were to think a bit more, she wouldn't get mad as much, but most of the time she gets mad I don't even know why. But hey, I don't really mind. Rather she smacks me than she cries, right?

- Teacher's Comment: There may be a chance for you yet… FWI, I think the question meant Himeji's cooking, not yours.

- Akihisa: Oh, that's true. Himeji is a beauty, but she cooks to kill an elephant. Not even Hideyoshi can withstand it.

- Teacher's Comment: I see…

41. (For Shouko) Was it love at first sight with Yuuji? (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Shouko: …There's a probably good chance that it was. I knew I felt something for him back then when we were kids, but even if I used to call it love I wasn't really sure. Now I am, and maybe I was back then too. Regardless, there's no mistaking it now.

- Teacher's Comment: How sweet…

42. (For Yuuji) Why don't you ever stop to think about Shouko's feelings? She's loved you for so long. And I know, deep down in your heart, you love her too. It showed when you saved her from certain death during the ST war. And I qoute 'I thought I lost you'. Would a man not in love say that to a girl? (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Yuuji: And Akihisa complains about the length of his questions… Okay, let's see, where to begin… I think about Shouko's feelings (even if she doesn't take mine into consideration), which is precisely why I tell her not to think of us as a couple when we are not. I don't say it to hurt her or anything, it's just, I don't see her that way. I don't think I love her. Maybe I care about her, of course, but love? Regardless of what I say, I'll admit one thing though; I don't want to lose her. So of course I was afraid that she would die. Even if our opinions don't always see eye-to-eye, I will always protect her, since my mouth and heart don't always see eye-to-eye either.

- Teacher's Comment: Guess you too, huh?

43. (To Shimada) I know Aki(hisa)'s annoying and stupid, but can you go easy on him for once? (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Shimada: More people take Aki's side than I thought… Of course I can, and I'm trying, I promise. I want to be nicer to him and show my "nicer" side or something like that, but I guess considering everything it's hard not to be tough on the guy. He means well yet he gets on my nerves so very easily. My fault for falling in love with an idiot…

- Teacher's Comment: Love is a whirlwind of emotions…

44. (To Yuuko) Do you have a brother complex? Please tell me you do! And also, what's your favorite yaoi couple? Would you support Kubo with whatever guy he dates? I mean, come on! It's free yaoi! (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Yuuko: For the last time: no! I don't. I won't tell you I do. And furthermore, I-… Yaoi? The test talks about yaoi? Well, if it's about that… My favorite couple, out of all fandoms or out of the people I know? If it's the people I know it's definitely Yoshii with my pathetic excuse for a brother. He'd be so cute as an Uke. I can just imagine him looking up and Yoshii, as Yoshii prepares to shove into him with that look in his eyes… Still not sounding convincing here on the bro complex. As for Kubo, sure, knock yourself out. But I don't think I'd see him as free yaoi. I like pretty boys, a bit on the feminine side, which Kubo is so not.

- Teacher's Comment: …So it's not just the boys with dirty minds (Aiko excluded) here, huh? I'm honestly surprised. Also: Keep. It. K+!

45. (To Hideyoshi) You know... You make it very difficult for a girl to know which way she's supposed to swing... But, on the upside, if you truly are a boy, then at least you look cute in a dress! I can have the best of the best with you! Will you wear anything the drama club gives you for a play? (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Hideyoshi: I do? I mean, that's good right? I'm very flattered by that, since I always thought that I'd never get a girl to look my way unless she was dissing me for stealing her boyfriend's gaze. And I'm sorry for any confusion, but I'm truly a boy. One which rather not wear a dress but knows he will be forced into one anyways. Can I say again how strange this question makes me feel, I'm embarrassed by it, a lot. Also, I will wear anything to a play, since I live for the drama club. In fact, I'd be okay wearing nothing, since there have been rumors about a city play of Equus, but I would rather not have to play Jill…

- Teacher's Comment: Quite the charmer you're becoming… And by "nothing", do you mean-?

- Yuuko: Playboy pervert.

- Hideyoshi: It's not like that Aneue, I meant it in an artistic, what-if scenario kinda way!

- Yuuko: Right…

- Teacher's Comment: This will be on the test.

- Akihisa: This is the test!

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The Author Rants About:

Male Vs. Female

I've noticed on this Q&A (and on many other of my reviews) that the readers usually take the side of one or the other end of the spectrum, or down right criticize both. I find that hilarious. Are Minami's and Himeji's treatment of Akihisa pure abuse, or does he deserve it for acting like an idiot and hurting their feelings over and over again. What about Yuuji & Shouko? Kouta & Aiko? The Kinoshita siblings? Our poor teacher?

It's just fun to find alternate interpretations to what we are given. In my case, I think Akihisa deserves some of the treatment he gets, because he gets quite a bit more in return. Regardless of which pairing you prefer both Minami and Himeji are top beauties, so he'd have to be blind not to be grateful. Then again, Akihisa is a genuinely nice guy, so the girls have an actual reason to favor him over the rest of the Letter-In-Face classmates of theirs. And…

…I swear I was going somewhere with this.


	3. 02 Marry Me Or I KILL YOU

**Baka & Test: Ask A Baka**

**Rating: **K+ (Borderline T)

**Pairings: **Canon/Crack

**Genre: **Humor, Romance

**Disclaimer:** I'll never own this…

**Notes: **Thanks so much for all the reviews folks! Here I bring you Chapter # 2 of the "story" with even more wacky questions and their answers. Keep them coming! (FWI: Special thanks to Yoky2cool4u for his "King of Non-Living" question; had a blast coming up with answers for that one.) – More Answers To Come Next Chapter.

**Song:** LMFAO – Sexy And I Know It

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Partial Test #2

1. (For Aiko) I'm tired you two just holding out on each other. When will you two just confess to each other and start dating? And if either of you deny anything about it again; I'll jump out of that freaking window! (From Latios1)

- Aiko: I like it that I'm always first, yay! As for the question, what? I haven't denied a thing! A direct confession just isn't my sort of thing, since to me playing around is something that I'm enjoying a lot. I'm in no rush, really, so there is no need for any window jumping.

- Teacher's Comment: It appears you two are the OTP around here…

2. (For Kouta) I'm tired you two just holding out on each other. When will you two just confess to each other and start dating? And if either of you deny anything about it again; I'll jump out of that freaking window! (From Latios1)

- Kouta: You cannot deny what is not true. Or is it the other way around? …Anyways, my love is my camera and the photos I take, that girl just makes a mockery of the art that I practice. I will not be tied down by a single female!

- Aiko: I'll show you.

- Teacher's Comment: Don't start test-hopping this early.

3. (For Yuuji) How long will it take you to reach the Amazon from Japan? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Yuuji: Depends on how fast I can get a computer with Internet connection…

- Teacher's Comment: Very funny.

- Yuuji: I'll be here all night.

4. (For Shouko) I have a picture of Yuuji with Miyako on their date. What would you do to him? If I give you a high-tech satellite laser weapon remote? It has everything needed except tracking him. (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Shouko: …I would like a copy of that picture. Better question would be "what wouldn't I do", since I'm afraid there's not enough room here for me to answer it well. As for the remote, I thank you for it, but it is unneeded. You see, I'm very much capable of getting him on my own.

- Teacher's Comment: Where do people get those high-tech things?

5. (For Akihisa) Okay, you're right about the flocking thing, but you are still an idiot because that's not what I mean. Would you go out with Shimada and Mizuki? If you don't, get ready to run. I will launch a tomahawk missile just for you. (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Akihisa: Hah, I was right! Hey, how can I still be an idiot if I was right? Seems to me you're just jealous I got the answer right, ha! Now then, for the question. I would and I have, actually. I've also gone out with Yuuji, Hideyoshi, Muttsulini and the others. And why? You have a tomahawk missile? Oh my God, are you Vin Diesel? Can I appear in Fast Six!?

- Teacher's Comment: Sometimes I think you purposely change the meaning of the questions you answer…

6. (For Shimada) Do you have the courage to go to a cave at night? Who can be very nice towards Aki(hisa)? Winner gets the date with Aki(hisa) (term: no violence). Aki(hisa), follow or your precious games go up in flames. (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Shimada: Of course I do. Better question would be what would I be doing there in the first place. And I can be nice to Aki, it's just that it's better to say it than do it. And I don't need the idiot as a prize to know that I need to try harder, since I'm not turning this into a full-scale war on Himeji. She's still my best friend.

- Teacher's Comment: Ah, the fine lines between love and war.

7. (For Himeji) Do you have the courage to go to a cave at night? Who can be very nice towards Aki(hisa)? Winner gets the date with Aki(hisa) (term: no violence). Aki(hisa), follow or your precious games go up in flames. (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Himeji: Not at all, I'd die there. I'm so horribly frightened by dark, scary, wet, creepy places that I wouldn't even be able to move forwards. Even during the day… But, I am nice to Yoshii-kun. I know I can get jealous, but I'm never downright mean, am I? But… I can get better at it. And a date? If… If he wants…

- Teacher's Comment: You seem more worried about the cave than the date.

8. (For Akihisa) Do you have the courage to go to a cave at night? Who can be very nice towards Aki(hisa)? Winner gets the date with Aki(hisa) (term: no violence). Aki(hisa), follow or your precious games go up in flames. (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Akihisa: No, I'd crap my pants. And I can be very nice to this Aki(hisa) fellow. Heck, the name sounds similar to mine. We could get along great! And really, a date! I'd love to get a date with Aki(hisa)! Is Aki(hisa) paying, right? Don't worry; no violence… Even if you are the one threatening Aki(hisa)'s games.

- Teacher's Comment: That question wasn't for you… I'll leave it at that.

9. (For Kubo) Really? I see you two (Kubo & Shizuka) stick together. You're both in denial. (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Kubo: There is honestly nothing going on between me and Shizuka! We have made a few plans together and I get along well with her, but things just don't work that way.

- Teacher's Comment: Love never works the way we want…

10. (For Shizuka) Really? I see you two (Kubo & Shizuka) stick together. You're both in denial. (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Shizuka: If. IF I was in love or at least liked Kubo in a romantic sense I wouldn't deny it. Heck, I throw myself at my darling Shimada even if I'm shot down faster that a duck in Duck Hunt. So why would I be so high strung on denying anything else?

- Teacher's Comment: Maybe because of Shimada.

11. (For Aiko) Can you guys (Aiko & Kouta) date for once? Full details. (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Aiko: Heh, heh… I can't make it any clearer that I have no intentions of actually "dating" him. "Bedding" however…

- Teacher's Comment: Young lady!

12. (For Kouta) Can you guys (Aiko & Kouta) date for once? Full details. (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Kouta: …No comment.

- Teacher's Comment: Why is this test soaked in blood?

- Aiko: Hehehe…

13. (For Yuuko) Will you go out with me? I know some yaoi manga though I go against it, but I will make an exception. Do you know you are so _kawaii_ when you're all serious or mad? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Yuuko: Easy there, I don't even know you. Thanks for the complements though, but I'm not up for relationships right now, sort of. Still, I don't know it to be happy or mad at the fact when I try to get serious all I end up looking is cute or, how you say, kawaii!

- Teacher's Comment: You are so moe.

14. (For Hideyoshi) Have you tried changing your style so people know you're a guy? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Hideyoshi: Not much aside from the uniform, since the universe apparently prefers me in a dress. I've only seriously considered changing my hairstyle once, but Aneue gave me a talking to that changed my mind…

- Teacher's Comment: Looks like someone doesn't want to lose her bishounen.

15. (For FFF) Can you be nice to Aki(hisa) for a whole year? If not be ready for Ironman. (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- FFF (#1): Sure we can. Just let us meet this Aki(hisa) fellow and we will surely-

- FFF (#2): Is Aki(hisa) a pretty girl?

- FFF (#1): Don't start this again, let me answer or the others will-

- FFF (#3): I heard that Akihisa was going on a date with Aki(hisa).

- FFF (#4): You know, when you say their names aloud…

- FFF (#1): Guys, damn it. I can't even answer one, ONE question without you all butting in-

- FFF (#2): So it is a pretty girl.

- FFF (#5): Akihisa is doing it again.

- FFF (#6): Down with the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist!

- FFF (#3): Ironman?

- FFF (#7): What's a philanthropist?

- FFF (#1): I hate you all…

- FFF (#8): Hi!

- Teacher's Comment: You are a sad little bunch… By the way, a philanthropist is someone who donates his or her time, money, and/or reputation to charitable causes. The more you know.

16. (For Souichi (AKA: Ironman)) What is the worst you can do to the FFF? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Ironman: Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh… Being able to do what I'd want to the few dorks in this school who are even more pathetic than Akihisa… would be illegal of me.

- Teacher's Comment: Sadism is a trait for you, huh?

17. (For Shunpei & Yusaku (Third Year)) Are you smart or just "loco"? Can't even outsmart Yuuji and Akihisa. (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Shunpei: We're not crazy, those two idiots just cheated their asses off!

- Yusaku: Yeah, and what's more, why do we get just one question for the both of us?

- FFF (#1): What the hell are you complaining about?!

- Teacher's Comment: Normally I'd say something witty here, but I'm just impressed by the amount of people taking this test. How am I supposed to grade this…?

18. (For Nemoto) Are you strong? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Nemoto: …Ah, maybe. I consider myself exceptionally strong, both physically and mentally.

- Teacher's Comment: Good for you.

19. (For Yuka) Are you going to dump him (Nemoto) if he were hired by the fashion industry but must be female? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Yuka: Despite are on-again/off-again relationship status, I think it would be the end of our "romance" if he has to permanently wear a skirt. I'm not like Kinoshita who has a thing for dudes in drag. Especially since Nemoto can't really wear one properly.

- Yuuko: Bitch, leave me out of this!

- Teacher's Comment: Ladies, easy. Let's not fight and focus our attention on answering the question about the dude who wears a skirt… Not that there's anything wrong with that.

- Akihisa: Seinfeld ref!

20. (For Yuuji) Will you go to Bali for your honeymoon? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Yuuji: I think you have a typo there. I'll "bail" for our honeymoon.

- Teacher's Comment: Bali is a nice place to go, especially if you've never been to Indonesia.

21. (For Shouko) Will you go to Bali for your honeymoon? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Shouko: …I'd like that. But, that would be only one stop. Our honeymoon must last over a year at least. Then comes the babies…

- Yuuji: You. Are. Mad. Woman!

- Teacher's Comment: You'd probably want to wait a few years after the honeymoon before all the diaper changing.

22. (For Akihisa) You're an idiot. Did you even notice that I asked you why you are stupid twice? Someone else even asked you it a third time! Do you think hitting you with a frying pan will put your mind back into place? Your answer does not matter to me I will hit you anyways... One more question how do you want to die? (From Yoky2cool4u)

- Akihisa: Wall-of-test-text here I come. Okay! Yes, I'm an idiot. No, I did not notice. Then the one who is truly stupid is the one asking me the same thing over and over. No, I do not think that would work. Then why are you asking me? By food overdose.

- Teacher's Comment: Stop insulting the reviewers.

23. (For Teacher) What do you think of these students taking the test? (From Yoky2cool4u)

- Teacher: Actually, they're an entertaining bunch, kind of like characters from a television show. It's the questions that strike me as odd, since I was unaware that we covered those topics in class.

- Teacher's Comment: What a magnificent answer, A++!

- Yuuji: Cheater…

24. (For Kouta) Okay, I love you (not that romance kind of way), but have you ever thought about how Aiko feels about your (harsh) answers? Also, if you were to die how would you want to die? Can I even ask those kind of questions? If I gave you a choice would you pick Aiko's teasing or trying to take a perverted picture? Why? If you say neither or anything similar I will hit you with a frying pan too. Why do you hate Aiko? What is it you hate about her? Or maybe you love her? Shouko said that denial is the first step ,no? Have you ever had a girlfriend? I bet not. If no, go on a date with Aiko. If yes, I'll bite you for the teacher. Again am I allowed to do this?

- Kouta: … … …? Teacher. The test is threatening me.

- Teacher's Comment: For once just try and answer it correctly.

- Kouta: …Fine… …Alright. If you love me show me your panties, it be a fair trade. The truth is something most people can't handle, even if it is harsh! As for dying I would love to die after severe blood loss and suffering from a fatal case of severe respiratory impairment by breasts and buttocks from the female populace. I don't mind what you ask, but they should limit the quantity. Pictures, I choose pictures. Because I live photography, it… is art. Why a frying pan, do I look like Akihisa? Are you going to hit me before or after you flash me your panties… for art. I… I don't hate her. She's bothersome and stubborn, but she's make a great model… If not for her tendencies. So I don't hate anything about her in particular, since she does have a nice ass-ertive personality. And no, I don't love her. Shouko can suck it. No, I have not. And I will not date, at all. You'll bite me… That might be worth considering… Bite me where, exactly. I hope you are.

- Teacher's Comment: See, that's not so bad. We'll the effort, because you really are bad, at everything. I would say she didn't mean it that way, but, I'd have to specify everything, so…

25. (For Yuuko) I hate you... No offence or anything, but I am not sure why. It's just that aura you give off is awful. Do you love your brother Hideyoshi? Not that romance kind of way. (From Yoky2cool4u)

- Yuuko: Well thanks, really? You hate me but mean no offense, then don't say it! I mean, I know I'm a bit, well, stuck-up and whatnot, but to hate me? Ignoring that, yes. Aside from how annoying he is, how everybody thinks I want to get down and dirty with him, and how utterly hopeless as a man he is; I do sincerely love Hideyoshi. He is my baby brother after all, and if you repeat these words, I'll deny them with a straight face.

- Teacher's Comment: Love is love, and sibling love is very sweet indeed.

26. (For Kubo) Why are you gay? What do think of Aiko? (From Yoky2cool4u)

- Kubo: Why are you straight? As for Aiko, I don't know. She's okay I guess, but a bit weird.

- Teacher's Comment: Are you really one to talk?

27. (For Shimada) Do you think that Aiko and Kouta should go out? (From Yoky2cool4u)

- Shimada: If it gets the little perv to stop taking photos of me, then I'm all up for it. I mean, Aiko is cute, so I don't know why he doesn't just take advantage of her advances. Maybe he's just all bark and no bite.

- Teacher's Comment: Strangely, I agree with her.

28. (For Yuuji) If Aiko and Kouta ever started dating what would you say? Is it odd that one of your kids will be named Soysause? (From Yoky2cool4u)

- Yuuji: Erm, congrats? I'd be more surprised if they do considering what I know of the two. If anything, the FFF would have something to complain about other than Akihisa and myself, although considering Aiko, they might get worse. And you know what. Who cares. Soysause Sakamoto Kirishima, now doesn't that sound like a future scholar to you?

- Teacher's Comment: Sounds better than my middle name at least.

29. (For Aiko) How do Kouta's answers make you feel? Also, what is your next plan for Kouta? Do you think Kouta has ever had a girlfriend? (Yoky2cool4u)

- Aiko: Relax, relax. I don't mind his answers at all, no need to threaten him with a frying pan. He's like a little girl, hitting the boy she likes in order to get attention. As for my plan, I can't really say I have a "plan" of sorts. I have ideas, but nothing concrete. I'm just having fun, is all. And for the last question, I don't think so. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy to have had romantic experience. He has too much pent up sexual urges for that. And even if he did, if you consider maybe a childhood romance of sorts, I don't mind. You see, I don't care about being his first, second or third. I'm going to be the last girl he's going to have.

- Teacher's Comment: This is a lie. Teacher has no comment.

30. (For Everyone) If you were to be a King (or Queen) of an army of non-living things, what would you choose and why? (Yoky2cool4u)

- Akihisa: Hey, we all got the same question.

- Hideyoshi: Sounds hard.

- Yuuko: Sounds stupid.

- Shouko: …You're just mad because the reviewer hates you.

- Yuuko: Am not.

- Kouta: …

- Yuuji: Don't take up space just writing three dots. Anyway, let's answer this in a civilized manner peo-

- FFF (#8): Hi!

- Yuuji: -ple… How can he even do that? I'm writing this down on paper? I'm not sayi-

- Akihisa: Let's start! I'll go first because I'm the main character. If I were king of an army of non-living things, I'd choose to be the king of video games. Why, because they are awesome. I could mix and match them however I'd want. Like I could use Mario is Halo 3 multiplayer sessions, or I could use Sonic the hedgehod and save Princess Zelda from the evil GLaDOS and prove the cake is not a lie… Also, I could host a tournament I use my powers to win every round. I could make MILLIONS and GAZIKATRILLIONS of money!

- Yuuji: That's childish. I'd be the king of television! That way, I could become a celebrity an be famous throughout the world. No more school or tests, just the lifetime of the rich and the famous.

- Himeji: I'd choose to be the Queen of food. Since everyone is saying I'm so bad at cooking, if I can control the food, I'd get better. I'd be able to master "Food Honor" and get to be able to become a master chef. That way, I can open a restaurant our in the open sea so that pirates can come and eat on their way to the Grand Line. Not to mention have everyone eat healthy and nutritious.

- Shimada: Can I choose common sense, since everyone since to be lacking one? However, if I go out on a limb and choose, I'd pick love. It is non-living, ain't it? That way I can avoid getting anyone hurt and have a happy ending… And pair up Hideyoshi with another boy…

- Hideyoshi: Legos. So I can create a theater presentation of Batman Arkham City using Legos a la Batman Lego. It would be so colorful, and I could play the part of Robin. I have always wanted to play the part of the boy wonder…

- Kouta: Must. Resist. Writing. Down. Panties… … Darn.

- Shouko: …Yuuji's house, so that he may not leave until I say so. And must come to be when I say so.

- Yuuko: Ah, maybe manga, or something. And don't go thinking about anything kinky. I just mean it would be kind of cool to be able to control manga and create one that's everything you want in a manga and become famous enough for it that it becomes an anime. Just saying.

- Aiko: Dreams… of the moist variety… heh, heh, heh…

- Kubo: I would be the Queen of Bread! Since it is Akihisa's favorite lunch, I'd make it for him everyday, the most tasty he would ever eat, and we would be one with my power over bread!

- Shimizu: I'd be all over Minami's clothing. Anything she wears, would obey me. That be alright, wouldn't it?

- Nemoto: The tests obviously. That way I can ace every single test that comes my way, rise in the ranks into becoming the highests student here (A class FTW) and never have to set foot in another one of Ironman's classes again. Also, Yuka would totally be head over heels with me again.

- Yuka: …The fashion industry. One, so that they don't hire Nemoto. Two, so that I can get all the newest fashion for free. Maybe I can even model a little.

- Shunpei: I'd pick money, so that I can be filty, stinking rich. Then Himeji would be all over me.

- Yusaku: Gift cards. That way I can buy anything I want at Wal-mart.

- FFF (#1): MY INDIVIDUALITY!

- FFF (#2): Don't you mean ours?

- FFF (#3): He's so selfish.

- FFF (#4): CAPS ARE FUN ABHDFGFAFYYHSUHUAYHUFYYAG!

- FFF (#5): Yeah, you know right?

- FFF (#6): Hey, you didn't even give out a reason why you choose individuality. That's two points less on the test right there.

- FFF (#7): Good eyes there, mate. I almost didn't see it.

- FFF (#8): Geico Card Insurance.

- Akira: Aki's underwear. Do I even need a reason? XP!

- Hazuki: Plush bunnies, I want to be the Queen of them. Everything cuddly and cute, so that I can marsh down the streets dressed like a cheerleader and make everyone happy and cuddly or else!... Just kidding.

- Ironman: I'd be the King of all Cosmos, my word would be law (even if it sorta is anyways, but still), and everyone would view me as a hero. I'd be kind but ever so strict, and any idiot that comes my path will be dealt with most severly.

- Kaoru (The Principal): Akihisa's brain, since he's clearly not using it.

- Teacher: My paycheck, since its non-existent.

- Teacher's Comment: Still waiting for my paycheck.

31. (For FFF) When you all graduate will you all go to the same collage? Or will you all live together in one house or apartment? (From Yoky2cool4u)

- FFF (#1): I never want to see them again in my li-

- FFF (#8): Hi!

- FFF (#1): Sakamoto's right, how do you do that?

- FFF (#2): Chances are we're stuck for life…

- Teacher's Comment: Sucks to be you, huh?

32. (For Kouta) If you we're in an arranged marraige which out of the three would you pick? Minami, Yuuko, or Aiko? Yes, I pick the flat chested ones. (From Yoky2cool4u)

- Kouta: Curse you and your selective tendencies. Let's see. Minami: Too violent. Yuuko: Too serious. Aiko: Too much. So, none.

- Teacher's Comment: You sorta chose there…

33. (For Hideyoshi) Have you ever acted out one of Yuuko's yaoi dreams? (From Yoky2cool4u)

- Hideyoshi: Acted out? Aneue? You have a part for me to play?

- Yuuko: Stop asking my brother these things! I do not have yaoi dreams, much less with him involved.

- Hideyoshi: No need to get all flustered about it. It's nothing wrong to be an aspiring writer. I'd gladly take any position you want me to.

- Yuuko: …You have to be teasing me on purpose…

- Teacher's Comment: So alike and yet so different when it comes into interpretations. Still, it would regardlessly involve "playing" of some sort.

- Yuuko: TEACH!

- Hideyoshi: ?

- Teacher's Comment: You'll understand when you're older.

34. (For Aiko) Do you think Kouta will die of blood loss because of you? (From Yoky2cool4u)

- Aiko: Hope not, he's a strong boy. Besides, he needs his blood elsewhere for "it" to work.

- Teacher's Comment: Young lady, you're going to get me fired if you keep these comments raising the bar this high…

35. (For Akihisa) Marriage: Kouta or Yuuji? (From KoMonkeyXXX (PM))

- Akihisa: Yuuji!

- Yuuji: At least pretend to think it over!

- Teacher's Comment: Time for some bromance!

36. (For Akihisa) Marriage: Yuuko or Kubo? (From KoMonkeyXXX (PM))

- Akihisa: Yuuko, she's almost like Hideyoshi!

- Yuuko: That's the reason!

- Teacher's Comment: Smack him, I know I would.

37. (For Akihisa) Marriage: Akira or Shimada? (From KoMonkeyXXX (PM))

- Akihisa: Shimada, no way would I choose Akira.

- Shimada: I should be glad, but considering the competition…

- Teacher's Comment: It is a victory though.

38. (For Akihisa) Marriage: Himeji or Hideyoshi? (From KoMonkeyXXX (PM))

- Akihisa: That's too hard! Damn you Knock-Out Monkey of Porno!

- Himeji: …Aki.

- Hideyoshi: Seriously, dude?

- Teacher's Comment: Would you people stop insulting the reviewers?

39. (For Yuuji) Is Shouko pregnant yet? Can I name your daughter Rebecca, after my best  
friend? Please? (From KoMonkeyXXX (PM))

- Yuuji: If she is, it ain't mine. Not that she's that sort of girl. As for naming her Rebecca, sure, why not? Soysauce needs a sibling.

- Teacher's Comment: See, acceptance would come eventually.

40. (For Shimada) If Kubo started an ST war with your class and it was arranged the  
winner gets Aki, would you kill him? (From KoMonkeyXXX (PM))

- Shimada: Nah, I'd watch.

- Teacher's Comment: That sounds mean.

- Shimada: You think?

- Teacher's Comment: Anyway, this will be on the test.

- Yuuji: Teach, this is the test.

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The Author Rants About:

Updates (or lack of thereof)

Most of you may have noticed that your questions were not included during this chapter, even if you did review quite a bit ago. Blame my tardiness, university classes, daily life and all of those other non-important things that get in the way of my writing. Still, another reason for it was that I honestly did not expect that many questions in the first place, which while I am overjoyed by it, I'm also a bit overwhelmed.

What does this mean. Nothing much really. I simply split the chapter I was currently working on in two. That way, Chapter 3 will have the rest of the questions asked by those who reviewed before I posted this; while Chapter 4 will have the questions asked from here onwards. Hopefully, Chapter 3 will be updated soon since it is pretty much halfway done and I won't slack off and put off Chapter 4 for too long. Anyway, thanks.


	4. 03 Yaoi, Yuri & Everything InBetween

**Baka & Test: Ask A Baka**

**Rating: **K+ (Borderline T)

**Pairings: **Canon/Crack

**Genre: **Humor, Romance

**Disclaimer:** If only I could buy this…

**Notes: **A big "Thank You!" for everyone for their feedback on this little fic of mine, means a lot! As promised, here's the third chapter of this story with the second half of the questions I didn't get around to answering last time. (FWI: Special mentions this time around go to Angelic Sakura Blossom who made me have to research yaoi… Not that there's anything wrong with that…) – More Answers To Come Next Chapter.

**Song:** Adam Lambert – "Fever"

-0-

Partial Test #3

1. (For Yuuji) Quick! Kiss Shouko or I will hit you on the head with a baseball bat covered in nails! And, pay attention to Shouko's answers! (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Yuuji: …There's not a single question in there… Seriously, these tests are getting weirder as time goes on. Okay, let's try this. One, you can't force me to kiss anyone, it's a sexual offense. Two, following that is a threat, which is a criminal offense. Lastly, why not, I'll pay attention. Hopefully she'll get actual questions…

- Teacher's Comment: Bonus points for not answering this with a simple "Oh, OK"…

2. (For Shouko) Have you ever thought about what Yuuji will do for your first time? (Date, kiss... EVERYTHING!) If so, what does he do to make it romantic? Don't listen to the teacher! Make it T if you want! (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Shouko: …I have. We've already been out on dates, so I know what he does, which is usually try to get away… But, our first kiss should be memorable. Everything else comes afterwards. And also, thanks, but no need to make it "T" for now. If I were to be honest, this would be rated "M"…

- Teacher's Comment: My job's hard enough without the test challenging my authority…

3. (For Akihisa) Will you just choose between Minami and Mizuki already! If you don't pick soon they're going to start fighting and pick for you! (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Akihisa: Yuuji's right, this has no question marks! …Okay, calm down. I can still answer this somehow. Let's see… I will not. Be my guest.

- Teacher's Comment: That's sounds a bit mean of you.

- Akihisa: You try to pick out between a girl who has more "yandere" tendencies than the whole cast of "School Days" and another who can and will shatter my backbone like it was a toothpick. I'm an idiot, not suicidal…

- Teacher's Comment: Fair enough.

4. (For Himeji) Thanks to Yuuji's answer (Ch. 01, Q #34), I have to ask, have you ever thought about having a ménage-à-trois pact with Akihisa? (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Himeji: …Wha? Erm…

- Teacher's Comment: Take your time.

- Himeji: … … … … … … …I, erm… … … … … …I have to talk to Yuuji… …I don't think so, really. I mean, it would probably, possibly, most certainly, definitely make Yoshii very (very) happy if we do, but… … …It wouldn't feel right. I like Minami a lot, but not like that. And… …And taking turns sounds… wrong, I guess. I have nothing against people who do this, but, I just don't think it's right. It's like taking an easy way out, and Yoshii is still going to love one of us more than the other, and I couldn't handle that… Even if I were the one loved most.

- Teacher's Comment: You talk to Sakamoto. I'll talk to the Principal about these questions…

5. (For Shimada) Thanks to Yuuji's answer (Ch. 01, Q #34), I have to ask, have you ever thought about having a ménage-à-trois pact with Akihisa? (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Shimada: …Heh, heh. Remind me next time to send a video clip of Yuuji's date with Shouko to the FFF; followed by a "photo" of him with another girl to Shouko… Anyways, I really haven't, but then again that is like giving in, isn't it? Aki isn't the type of boy to do that. Would he fantasize about it? I can't blame him if he did. Fantasy and reality are two different things, and I'll be woman enough to admit it: Mizuki is hot. I don't blame him. I'd never hit on her even for him, but that fact remains, so…

- Teacher's Comment: A little bit of "Les Yay" never hurt. Heck, I once had a policeman stop me for speeding and I swear he could break nuts on those abs! No homo…

6. (For Aiko) So, have you ever thought of doing some sexy cosplay? You know, dressing up like a maid and stuff? (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Aiko: Oh come on, how could I do that? I'm too shy…

- Teacher's Comment: I cosplay on Halloween, does it count?

7. (For Kouta) What would you do if Aiko came up to you, wearing a French maid dress (or sexy cat girl) and started calling you Master? What would you have her do? (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Kouta: …Faint.

- Teacher's Comment: Honest.

8. (For Yuuko) Have you ever heard of the anime/manga "Junjou Romantica"? It's the best yaoi anime I've ever seen! And I kinda meant fandom...not people you knew...But, it is good to know you think of those to that way. And no, your answers aren't helping you at all. You most definitely have a brother-complex. But that's okay, more manga will available to you. So, one more question... Do you wanna become friends? We could have a grand time talking about yaoi and trying to see if we can put that little fantasy of yours into action. And also...could you tutor me in geometry? I really suck at math. (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Yuuko: Why are they asking about Yaoi in a test? I mean, isn't that a bit, I don't know, private… Still, for the sake of a future friendship and free yaoi… Okay, let's get this over with. First, yes, I've heard of it. I've read it and seen it too. Heck, I've writing fanfiction about it and put it on the web… I mean, I like an older "seme", more experience were it matters, you know. So I agree with you there! Secondly, I'm not… like that, okay. The Akihisa with my brother thing, just a fantasy of sorts, I guess. Don't make me into a stalker or sorts; I have enough issues as is. So I kind of figure my answers aren't helping me much… Thirdly, why not? I'm very busy with my academics, but when I have some free time we can chat a bit and talk about things, like boys, yaoi, classes, shounen-ai, the joys of a single child… And no, no fantasy to reality. I'm one of the few people who actually consider my brother straight. I wouldn't mind him being gay if he were to be man enough to admit at being it. And please, not with that idiot Akihisa… Finally, I could. Many people I know aren't good at mathematics, but mostly because they get lost at the primary steps and lose their way. Since most teachers cater to big groups, they try to get the majority to understand and those that fall behind are generally seen as slow or bad at the subject. In reality, some people simply take more time into learning something than others, but that doesn't make them stupid or anything.

- Teacher's Comment: Longest answer I've seen… about yaoi. Still, for what is worth, you'd make a fine teacher one day, Ms. Kinoshita.

- Yuuko: :)

9. (For Hideyoshi) So, If I wrote a play for the drama club... and designed the costumes... would you would wear the dresses I made for you? (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Hideyoshi: Sure! I'm used to wearing dresses for plays; they say I capture the feminine side of characters "just right". What would the play be about? I mean, I just love to see behind the plays and into the mind of the writer. It's very interesting. Maybe something about samurais or something…

- Teacher's Comment: A Sengoku Period piece, sounds okay… Just stop turning them into girls.

10. (For Hideyoshi) Regarding Yuuko, do you have a sister-complex? (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Hideyoshi: Well, yeah. Of course I do. She is a pretty complex sister.

- Teacher's Comment: I won't bother to correct…

11. (For Kubo) I love your English voice, let's just get that out of the way. And have you ever stopped to think that Akihisa just isn't into you? (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Kubo: Thank you, I'm bilingual. Actually, I have. I'm not heartless. But I think it's unfair that he's head over heels over Hideyoshi but doesn't spare me a single glance yet calls himself straight. He's the one with the problem if you ask me, I mean… I'm gay, yet even I'll admit that Himeji's breasts are the perfection of womanhood. If you are straight, why go after Hideyoshi and not her. Not even Shimada? Seriously!

- Teacher's Comment: It is true that Akihisa is a hard one to figure out, but I would only say that the only victim here is probably Hideyoshi, unless he secretly likes the attention…

12. (For Miharu) Have you ever stopped to consider Minami's feelings? She doesn't like you. Why are you trying to force her into something she doesn't want to do? True love means that you want the best for your beloved, even if that's a bumbling idiot and not you. (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Miharu: You think I don't see that. Still, it sounds unfair to me to make me look like some rapist or blackmailer (even if I did do the latter) who forces her into a relationship. I mean, I just jump and cuddle her, which she doesn't mind much because if she did she would have long stopped talking to me. I will not accept that I am at fault when it comes to Yoshii, since he does get the attention I wish I got. But he has proven himself, and while I hate to admit it, I'm a lot more tolerant on the matter now than I was at the start.

- Teacher's Comment: These early years in life are filled with many questions and heartaches, but sometimes even things you set in stone may turn out to be not quite as clear as you had imagined…

13. (For Yuuko) You've admitted to having incestuous desires... But you would punch Hideyoshi in a heartbeat if he did something stupid? Why don't you just admit to having a brother complex already? (From Angelic Sakura Blossom)

- Yuuko: You want to be friends or not, make up your mind! I do not desire my brother. Seriously, people! I would and have (pardon my French) beaten the shit out of him because he always does something stupid. In a skirt! I have admitted to loving him (as a sister), and I find him cute and I bet if he stopped acting like a school girl who just got her first period, he would be seen as a, well, a "he". So stop with the "brother-complex" thing… he doesn't see me that way, either…

- Teacher's Comment: Girls can be so abusive sometimes…

14. (For Shouko) On a scale of 1 to 10, how much of a threat do you believe Akihisa is to your relationship with Yuuji? (From RawkHawk2.0)

- Shouko: …Maybe a three or four if ten is the biggest, I guess. They certainly have a little "bromance" going on, but it's nothing to worry about. Akihisa is, after all, a kind soul that occasionally helps me and Yuuji get together at various points of our relationship.

- Teacher's Comment: Good to see that Akihisa at least has a girl who neither loves or hates him, platonic FTW!

15. (For Kouta) How many cameras do you have, at last count? (From RawkHawk2.0)

- Kouta: Five on last count on my person. One in each of my two pants pockets, one on my jacket pocket, one on my right sock and one in my underwear… At home I have fifteen more stored "strategically" and a few memory cards ranging from 8GB to 128GB…

- Teacher's Comment: 128GB! What the heck are you going to do with that much flash memory? Make a life-size replica of the Statue of Liberty?

16. (For Aiko) What exactly is your ultimate goal in teasing Kouta? (From RawkHawk2.0)

- Aiko: You know, there really isn't a specific goal at all… I mean, I do have several "motives" for the teasing, as well as the fact that I just enjoy seeing him get all that, well, like that. But… I'll let you imagine what "goal" I could be after.

- Teacher's Comment: Maybe Kouta should focus on a life-size replica of someone else?

17. (For Shimada) Does it make you sad to know that Akihisa likes big boobs and ponytails, and that while Himeji can put her hair into a ponytail at any time, you can't magically grow boobs? (From RawkHawk2.0)

- Shimada: From a girl's point of view, the fact that I can't magically make my breasts bigger makes me sad for a simple reason: I can't make them bigger. It's not just that Aki likes them like that, but I mean, come on! It ain't fair!

- Teacher's Comment: You still have room to grow…

18. (For Hazuki) Do you really want to marry Akihisa one day? If so, have you considered the ramifications that could have in your relationship with your older sister? (From RawkHawk2.0)

- Hazuki: Ramifi-wha? That means problems right? I mean, I like my idiot big bro Aki a lot, and that's what matters if you marry someone, but my sis is very shy when it comes to talking about him. Still, he's my big bro and she's my big sis, so it would make sense if the two got together. I wouldn't mind.

- Teacher's Comment: So adorable, A+!

- Shimada: Hey!

19. (For Yuuko) Do you ever feel overshadowed by Shouko? It seems like many more people care about her than they do you. And... Well... (bows) Would you go out with me? (From RawkHawk2.0)

- Yuuko: A little I guess, not much though. She's number one while I am number two, so I guess it's natural for her to get a little more attention. She's still my best friend, so it's all good. As for going out, you get points for the gentleman like approach at it, but no. Don't take it personal, but I don't date without knowing the person first. Still, for what it's worth, thanks.

- Teacher's Comment: Each student is special for something, be it positive or negative.

20. (For Hideyoshi) How does it make you feel to have more guys going after you than your sister? And why do you use such old fashioned vocabulary? (From RawkHawk2.0)

- Hideyoshi: Weird would be a good way to put it. Not just that I get more attention than Aneue, but from guys… As for the vocabulary thing, you mean when I speak in Japanese, right? Normally, in English, I tend to speak normally. But, in my native tongue I tend to use a style mostly associated with the times of the Samurai and such. I'm such an avid fan on those periods that I've spent many hours watching films and serials about them. Their vocabulary sort of "stuck", you know. Taking part in old fashioned plays also doesn't help. I just got used to it.

- Teacher's Comment: Yo puedo escribir en español. ¡Hablar dos idiomas es bueno!

21. (For Akihisa) What is the dish you're most proud of creating and why? (From RawkHawk2.0)

- Akihisa: That's an easy one. My super deluxe never-ending ramen! You just cut it in half every single time before you eat and presto! It never ends! And they say I'm stupid…

- Teacher's Comment: …I, forget it.

22. (For Yuuji) Did you ever teach Shouko any other misinformation when you were kids, or did you really just bet on the Taika Reforms eventually being vitally important in life? (From RawkHawk2.0)

- Yuuji: I can't really remember if I taught her anything specific that's actually wrong, since we just studied our brains out back then and if we made a mistake it would sort of get stuck, you know. Specially with her. And no, I really didn't plan on using the Reforms as a once-in-a-lifetime get-out-of-trouble card. It just happened…

- Teacher's Comment: You two go way back, huh?

23. (For Hideyoshi) So if we get to know each other will you marry me? I'm also part of the Drama Club and I live for it too. (From Misslaly19)

- Hideyoshi: I, ah. Yeah, we could, I mean. We do share interests and such; if we know each other well and we find that we're suitable I guess it would be okay…

- Teacher's Comment: In school you get confessions from boys, here it's the other way around…

24. (For Yuuko) What will you do if one morning you wake up and find that I kidnapped your sister, I mean brother, but left a pile of Yaoi manga? (From Misslaly19)

- Yuuko: Really, I'm not that obsessed. Besides, he's an idiot. Just call him out and he'll follow. If you insist on leaving the manga, however…

- Teacher's Comment: Yaoi is serious business.

25. (For Akihisa) Do you think you deserve being an idiot? Is it possible to be so stupid? (From Misslaly19)

- Akihisa: I don't think I do, nor do I think that I am. It's unfair. And yes, it is possible. There was once a little American girl who wished upon the stars that she could be turned into a redhead, but alas, she was brunette. She then made a pact with a demon named after some rich kid's dog and was turned into a fairy red haired swordsgirl, but was deemed too stupid to go to Broadway… That girl… was me.

- Teacher's Comment: …Take this seriously!

26. (For Shouko) I respect you a lot... I am planning to kidnap Hideyoshi, will you help me? Maybe I can get Yuuji to sign you a marriage contract? (From Misslaly19)

- Shouko: …Thank you. I may, since you sound like a kind soul who would help me. Still, be nice to Yuuko's brother. She does care about him…

- Teacher's Comment: The boys are in bigger danger than I thought.

27. (For Shouko) How long are you going to Taser-ed Yuuji? And please be gentler to Yuuji. (From Aka-Lice)

- Shouko: …The use of the Taser is merely a precaution. If he were to be honest with his feelings, I would not have to be so forceful. And I will be gentle to him when that time comes…

- Teacher's Comment: What do you mean by "that time"?

- Shouko: …Don't make me say it, it's embarrassing.

28. (For Yuuji) Do you love Shouko? Be honest with me, please. And name one thing you'd like to do with Shouko! (From Aka-Lice)

- Yuuji: She's a childhood friend of mine, I've known her longer than I have Akihisa, so I do care about her. It's just that my idea of love and her idea of love are two very different ideas. And if I could choose one thing to do with her it would be to hang out like we used to.

- Teacher's Comment: I for one though you and Akihisa had been born in the same room.

29. (For Akihisa) When Minami kissed you, what was your opinion about it? Did you enjoy it? (From Aka-Lice)

- Akihisa: Kinda tastes like strawberries. And I don't know, I sorta figured out I'd been kissed about a minute after it had happened, so…

- Teacher's Comment: We all remember our first kiss… I was twenty-five…

30. (For Shimada) How long are you going to hold back? Go for it girl! (From Aka-Lice)

- Shimada: Okay! Thanks for the support, but I'm not really holding much back. I won't force him or anything… not much, at least.

- Teacher's Comment: The wrestling moves say otherwise…

31. (For Himeji) Can you please stop cooking? You going to poison Akihisa and the others… (From Aka-Lice)

- Himeji: I'm sorry. I'm going to take classes, I swear. Promise!

- Teacher's Comment: Poor unfortunate soul who agrees to taste test…

- Akihisa: Little Mermaid ref!

- Teacher's Comment: Would you stop! And really, Little Mermaid, who would even catch that?

32. (For Hideyoshi) Do you twincest with Yuuko? (From Aka-Lice)

- Hideyoshi: Twincest…? Erm, isn't that when two twins, well, duh, if they're twins they would be two of them… Anyway, when twins cest? Cest? Is that even a word? Give me a moment… Twincest is the close relationship between twins, right? We did use to bathe and sleep together before, but, I don't know…

- Teacher's Comment: I don't know if you're deliberately evading the question.

33. (For Yuuko) When are you going to stop reading Yaoi? (From Aka-Lice)

- Yuuko: Never.

- Teacher's Comment: Hello, one-word-response.

34. (For Kouta) Perv, stop taking shots will 'ya? (From Aka-Lice)

- Kouta: Never.

- Teacher's Comment: Hello again.

35. (For Akihisa) How do you feel about Minami stealing your first kiss? (From BatarangNinja)

- Akihisa: Oh. My. God. You're a ninja! Do you know any Jutsu? Can you make clones? Can you breathe fire? Can you make lightning in the palm of your hand? Can you reanimate the dead? Can you send your body to another dimension? Can you shove your finger up someone's ass? So… COOL!

- Teacher's Comment: Answer the damn question!

- Akihisa: Oh, sorry. Let's see… I… don't really mind. I was surprised by it, but I'm not mad or anything. And… wait… Are you Batman?

- Teacher's Comment: …This kid…

36. (For Kouta) Do you only think about pervy stuff? I mean, don't you have other "hobbies"? And how did you learn ninjutsu? (From TheVoiceWithin24)

- Kouta: I do. I just don't do it much… As for ninjutsu, it's a secret. I'm of the elite, always in the shadows. The less you know the better.

- Teacher's Comment: You just sound mad because Akihisa doesn't consider you a ninja…

37. (For Himeji) Why do you always wear that bunny hairclip? Is it a gift from a special person? (From TheVoiceWithin24)

- Himeji: …Yes, it is. It's childish I know, but I treasure it. He's always been attentive to the little details, and it may not mean much for him, but… my crush is still going strong…

- Teacher's Comment: ::Sarcasm on:: "I have no idea who you're talking about…" ::Sarcasm off::

38. (For Shimada) Why do you always wear that ribbon? Is it a gift from a special person? (From TheVoiceWithin24)

- Shimada: It is special, but for another reason that what you're probably insinuating at. Regardless, I'll never say…

- Teacher's Comment: That's mean…

39. (For Yuuji) You know you could be in Class A? Why did you stop working? (From TheVoiceWithin24)

- Yuuji: I know. It's just that I found out that there are more important things to do that study my ass off and try to be an honor student. Let me explain a bit: Everyone thinks that those who graduate from Class A here at the Academy will be able to achieve any future he or she wants. He or she would be accepted to the best of universities and get the best of jobs. But I don't see it that way. Why do I want to have the best university and the best job, and be alone? I have good friends here at Class F, and I want to go through my school years with them. If I can put our whole class in Class A, then that's another story, but for now, I'm happy where I am. You're young just once, you know… Just as Himeji, she stayed here too, and she's ten times smarter than me.

- Teacher's Comment: Here at Fumizuki Academy we harbor a competitive element between our students for self-improvement. However, it should be noted that even a student of Class E or F is still a part of us and still meets the requirements to go wherever he or she wants to go.

40. (For Hideyoshi) I've always known you were a boy! But I was wondering, would you be in the play I wrote? I want you to be the male lead, Ned. I think you'd be perfect for it! (From GoneBeyondReality)

- Hideyoshi: Sure! I've been asked that a lot, and I'd love to be in all of them. Let's just talk a bit about scheduling conflicts, since I want to be responsible with all of you. Still, whet's the play about? I really want to know. Also about Ned.

- Teacher's Comment: You're quite the popular actor, huh?

41. (For Akihisa) Have you ever cried yourself to sleep, asking yourself why everyone is so hard on you being an idiot? Do you think Minami and Mizuki hate you? Do you think no matter how hard you try, you'll never see yourself as accepted among your friends because you're labeled as an idiot? I'll leave a box of razors at your doorstep if you want to think things over... (From ShadowAngel121)

- Akihisa: …No. I never cry myself to sleep over something like that. My friends just bother me as much as friends normally bother each other, and even if I am the usual target, that doesn't mean I'd get depressed over it. If you're part of a mischievous bunch, you gotta learn to laugh at yourself sometimes. That's not bullying. Also, Minami and Himeji don't hate me, not for that at least. Himeji couldn't hurt a fly (her cooking not withstanding) and if Minami's kiss is anything to go by I'd say it's the opposite. I am an idiot. I've never denied being an idiot. And while it does bring me misfortune, most of the time I'm asking for it. And when I'm not, I don't get mad. Well, not overly so at least. You gotta learn to take everything with a grain of sugar, or something… Still, keep the razors. I still don't shave and I have no other use for them.

- Teacher's Comment: Bullying is a serious problem, and has resulted in terrible tragedies. One must, however, know the difference of playing and bullying, and know how to stop the latter if the trouble arises. One should talk to a teacher, principal or, better even, your parents or legal guardian in order to stop it; whether or not you are the one being bullied…

42. (For Himeji) How would you react if you found out Akihisa had severe depression due to you and his friends constantly saying he's an idiot and belittling him and that he once attempted suicide? What would you do to tell him that you care about him to keep him from a self-destructive path. This means no violence/breaking his bones. ( From ShadowAngel121)

- Himeji: If Yoshii had a severe depression, we would have noticed by now. Regardless of my feeling for him, he's above all my friend. I won't argue about if I treat him badly or not, not here, but I'd never do something so grave as to hurt him like that. None of my friends for that matter. Besides, Yoshii… Akihisa is strong. He would never attempt suicide. Suicide is a rather heavy matter, one I didn't expect on this test, but it is never the answer. I won't say only weak people succumb to it, because it has probably at least crossed everyone's mind at least once; regardless of how short-lived said thought was. When people feel they have no way out, no reason to fight, they can succumb to it. But it's not right. There are other options. If you feel no one can hear your silent cries, then scream them out. And in the scenario that Akihisa, Minami, Yuuji, Hideyoshi, Kouta, Shouko, Yuuko, Aiko, Kubo, the FFF, Ironman, YOU, anyone were to take a self-destructive path; I'd be there. I would walk every single step of that path with them, and bring them back. Violence does not solve violence. I sincerely hope this is a hypothetical question, were it not, you can talk to me.

- Teacher's Comment: There are many suicidal hotlines for different cases. If you feel that even those close to you are "enemies", please consider calling one before doing anything.

43. (For Shimada) How would you react if you found out Akihisa had severe depression due to you and his friends constantly saying he's an idiot and belittling him and that he once attempted suicide? What would you do to tell him that you care about him to keep him from a self-destructive path. This means no violence/breaking his bones. ( From ShadowAngel121)

- Shimada: For real? I'd be devastated of course, but that's… not him. He's not like that. I would probably joke around saying that he would probably be too stupid to even kill himself properly, but that's really not a laughing matter. If anyone I cared about was contemplating suicide, I would do anything to bring them help. Losing a love one hurts like hell. Losing a loved one by his or her own hand must be even more so severe. Aki and I play around and I may get too physical with him at times, but I would never hurt him so much. I'd rather he smack me rather than I hurt him. Really hurt him. So… I don't know the meaning of this question in this test, but suicide is never the answer, and none of us here answering will ever contemplate such.

- Teacher's Comment: Also, there are many websites and forums which deal with this sort of thing. They will even treat you as "anonymous", so no one will ever know those thoughts crossed your mind until you feel like telling them.

44. (For Akihisa) So, what's your relationship with Hazuki? If you had a girl best friend, would it be her? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Akihisa: Primate Porno! How are you? I'm fine. As for the questions, no, not really. Hideyoshi is my girl best friend; Hazuki is more like the sister I wish I had. Akira is fine and all, her tendencies aside, but having a cute little sister would just be awesome. But… that doesn't take away the fact that she is a friend of mine.

- Teacher's Comment: Imouto Time!

45. (For Akihisa) How do you think Shimada Minami feels about you? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Akihisa: Clearly, she digs my sailor shirt.

- Teacher's Comment: What are you, Donald Duck?

46. (For Akihisa) How do you think Himeji Mizuki feels about you? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Akihisa: She views me as a close friend, though to what degree I'm not sure. For a while there I thought she had a thing for Yuuji, but I guess I was wrong. Then I thought Shouko had a thing for her, and I was sadly mistaken… So, something like that I guess.

- Teacher's Comment: You thought Shouko had… nevermind.

47. (For Akihisa) How do you think Kubo feels about you? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Akihisa: I have no idea. But, poor Kubo. No full name in the question for him? Still, a good friend is what I see him as, so the feeling could be returned, even if he does get pretty weird sometimes.

- Teacher's Comment: If you only knew…

48. (For Akihisa) How do you think Kinoshita Hideyoshi feels about you? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Akihisa: Unfortunately not half of what I feel for him…

- Teacher's Comment: Leave the poor boy alone.

49. (For Akihisa) How do you feel (regarding love, regarding marriage,) towards Minami, Mizuki, Kubo, and Hideyoshi? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Akihisa: Okay, let's see. Minami. I care about her greatly. Don't know if its love or not, so I'm not sure about marriage. Himeji. I do love her, but even with her marriage seems like it would be too sudden. Maybe in a few years, but I can't really answer that now. Kubo. Kubo. Kubo. Why Kubo? I like him. I don't love him. I will never marry him. Next dude. Hideyoshi. I adore him. He's a girl who doesn't want to admit it, and we would be perfect for one another… But seriously, He's my pal. I love him like a younger brother, but even I don't think it's enough to marry him… And finally, Kubo?

- Teacher's Comment: You're love life is a serious matter for this test. You should've studied more.

50. (For Akihisa) If you got turned into a dog, who would you want your owner to be? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Akihisa: Superman! That way I'd have powers too!

- Teacher's Comment: For a minute there I thought you would have answered someone else… for other reasons…

51. (For Yuuji) Have some coffee. So, you know Shouko is pregnant right? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Yuuji: I don't even like coffee. And, no she's not. She's not that type of girl. And what does the coffee have to do with it. I'm not the one pregnant!

- Teacher's Comment: According to the directions it was for you to: take coffee, drink coffee, spit out coffee in an overly comedic fashion. Hmm…

52. (For Yuuji) Just kidding! (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Yuuji: Where's the question?

- Teacher's Comment: I was asking myself the same.

53. (For Yuuji) If you ever did have kids though (with anyone, doesn't matter and you don't have to say who) what would you name them, how many would there be, and what genders? (Answer in reverse order.) (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Yuuji: .ecuasyoS tub gnihtyna meht eman d'I dna sdik owt tsael ta gninaem ,lrig eno dna yob eno tsael ta ekil dluow I ,sdik evah did I fI

- Teacher's Comment: Funny…

- Yuuji: I'll be here all night.

54. (For Yuuji) Please try saying 'Shouko sees shoujo at the Shouka show' ten times fast. I would find that amusing... If you don't, I'll get Shouko riled up at you. (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Yuuji: Again with the threats, at least this one says "please". Okay, here I go. I'll write down how I say it. "Shouko sees shoujo at the Shouka show" "Shouko sees shoujo at the Shouka show" "Shouko see shoujo at the Shouko show" "Shouko see shoujo at the show" "Shouko be shoujo at the show Shouko" "Shouko be shoujo at the shoujo show" "Shouko be shoujo at the shoujo show" "Shouko be shoujo-ai the shoujo show" "Shouko be shoujo-ai the show" "Shouko is shoujo-ai at the Shouko show" …I kinda like the sound of it.

- Teacher's Comment: For a minute I was worried when you started spewing tongue-twisters in the middle of the test…

55. (For Shouko) You have kids with Yuuji. How many, what genders, what names? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Shouko: …Five. Three boys, two girls. Soysauce, Mikan, Miso, Yuka, Naruto and I'll name the dog Butterball.

- Teacher's Comment: …I'm hungry.

56. (For Shouko) You and Yuuji get married. Who are your bridesmaids and maids of honor? Is Akihisa the best man? What color is Yuuji's face right before the 'You may kiss the bride' part. (Hopefully, neon red.) Do you hire Kouta as a wedding photographer? (For KoMonkeyXXX)

- Shouko: …Yuuko is the Maid of Honor. Since it's Yuuji, Shimada and Himeji would probably be the bridesmaids together with Aiko. Shimada's little sister would be the flower girl and Hideyoshi could be the ring boy. And I'd like Yoshii to be the best man, no one else should be… Yuuji's face? Don't know. It wouldn't be our first kiss, so he shouldn't be worried about something so trivial as a kiss when the honeymoon is just a few hours away… And, no. Not Kouta. He can just… sit… somewhere. I have no interest in knowing what my bridesmaids wore as panties that day.

- Teacher's Comment: No role for the good teacher here… Hope I get an invite.

57. (For Shouko) Yuuko insists you should name a child after her because (Yuuji+Shouko=Yuuko). (Logic.) Your response? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Shouko: Cute. If she really thinks that I'd find her adorable, but I want my children to have meaningful names; not sound like some anime fusion.

- Teacher's Comment: Really? And you're going to call the eldest Soysauce?

58. (For Aiko) If you can't have Kouta, who's your second choice? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Aiko: It would be Hideyoshi. I wanna know what all the fuss is about and we could roleplay. Still, "can't have" is not part of my vocabulary.

- Teacher's Comment: Start expanding your vocabulary little lady.

59. (For Kouta) Boxers or briefs? You'll probably say 'thongs' or girly underwear. (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Kouta: Boxers. I like to let it hang.

- Teacher's Comment: Too much information!

- Kouta: I meant the camera stored in there. If you read my answer to question #15, you would have known that.

- Teacher's Comment: See me after class…

60. (For Kubo) What's your IQ? Have you ever offered to tutor Aki? He'd probably be less scared of you than Akira. Have you ever met Akira? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Kubo: I don't know what number my IQ is, since while I am smart I don't brag about it too much. I've never offered Akihisa help in his studies, which now that I ponder it I really should. And no, I have not met her, officially at least. I once took a subway ride with her and she suddenly stripped… We could get along.

- Teacher's Comment: What's wrong with you people?

61. (For Kubo) RUN. NOW. (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Kubo: …Uh?

- Teacher's Comment: …Uh?

62. (For Shouko) Kubo gave up on Aki and started flirting with Yuuji. And he stole your Taser. Response? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Shouko: …Stare. Why would Yuuji even care about it? And what would Kubo do with my Taser. Kubo's smart. He's smart enough not to cross me.

- Teacher's Comment: Yikes! You mean business girl.

- Shouko: Just a warning.

- Kubo: Oh, I get it now!

63. (For Aiko) Estimate. How many pictures of you does Kouta have compared to the other girls and Hideyoshi? Do you resent Hideyoshi because of Kouta's infatuation? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Aiko: He has more of me that he has of Yuuko at least, but I guess I'm still around fourth or fifth place. I won't lie, it does bother me a bit. Still, I don't resent Hideyoshi at all. Heck, I said he would be the other guy I'd fu-hit on if I "can't have" Kouta. So that answers that.

- Teacher's Comment: May I please remind you to keep it K+. Is it so hard!?

64. (For Akihisa) My name has nothing to do with Porn. Thank you. (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Akihisa: You know, I never meant that to become a running gag. Still, what does it stand for? I can understand the "Ko" part as meaning "Knock Out" or the beginning of a word or name. I can also understand the "Monkey" part as referring to a, well, monkey or to that pirate captain with a straw hat. But "XXX"? Seems like you're in denial about it…

- Teacher's Comment: For the last time, respect the reviewers. If it doesn't mean porn, then it doesn't.

- Akihisa: Says you. What does "XXX" make you think of then, teach?

- Teacher's Comment: Just drop it. And remember, this will be on the test.

- Himeji: But I thought this was the test.

-0-

The Author Rants About:

Fanon

I find it fascinating how many different interpretations readers have of their favorite series. Matter fact, the way most of you ask questions and the questions you ask speak volume as to what type of fan you are. In a good way, of course.

Some of you (most of you) are more romance oriented, having ideas of this particular pairing being practically canon, and you love the shiptease. Others, like the more lighthearted approach and comedic situations or just plain weird stuff. Some even wish things to get a bit steamier, but regardless, everyone has his or her own idea of what makes this series (or any other) special in the first place which, if removed, would diminish the quality of the series a bit. As an aspiring writer, if I can come to write something someday which creates something like that in even a single reader… Well, my job would be done.


	5. 04 This Chapter May Cause Stupidity

**Baka & Test: Ask A Baka**

**Rating: **K+ (Borderline T)

**Pairings: **Canon/Crack

**Genre: **Humor, Romance

**Disclaimer:** My plot to own this never did work out well…

**Notes: **And here is the next exciting installment of the "Ask A Baka" fanfiction from yours truly! This chapter will show the first half of the most current reviews, with the next chapter (05) coming full cycle and hopefully bringing me up to speed. Since, as of this time of writing, I'm almost done with Chapter 05, it will only take about four days to post it! (FWI: Special thanks to KoMonkeyXXX, for allowing me to have fun at her expense… XD) – More Answers To Come Next Chapter.

**Song:** Kylie Minogue – "Timebomb"

-0-

Partial Test #4

1. (For Himeji) So, what is your favorite memory of Akihisa from elementary school? If I remember correctly, you went to the same elementary school as him for a year or so... By the way, if you need any extra pictures of "you-know-who" other than the ones you get from Kouta, just leave a job posting at Butei High School. Just address it to Snipe Department's S-Ranked Butei, Reki, and I'll take it. (From Toyama Reki)

- Himeji: You're correct; we were together back then. Hmm, I'd say my favorite memory of all of the ones I shared with him, despite treasuring many, was arguably not from our elementary school. You see, it was when we were playing at a nearby park after school, were we remained way past our bedtime. We had to run home like crazy but since it was dark and scary I, well, practically forced him to take another more lighted route and we both ended up getting hopelessly lost. All that was missing was rain and an escaped zoo animal to make it seem like one of those funny lost-children movies… And thanks, but I'm good on my photos for now. I'll keep it in mind!

- Teacher's Comment: Funny lost-children movies… Hollywood can make anything funny, huh?

2. (For Akihisa) So, what do you remember of Himeji from when you two were in the same Elementary School? Please tell me that aren't so much of a baka (バカ) that you forgot. If you did, watch your back, as I'm probably going to have to snipe you from 2,235 meters away or so, even if I don't have a job listing to do so. There is a limit to how much you can be a baka (バカ). (From Toyama Reki)

- Akihisa: I'd never forget! So, ha! バカ back at you! And what are you Solid Snake? Snipe me, the nerve of the little people.

- Teacher's Comment: Akihisa. Answer.

- Akihisa: I was getting to that. Okay, I remember her hair was still pink. I remember her breasts were starting to grow. I never thought they would get that big, but, well you know… I remember that she was still as smart as she is now. Still as pretty. I remember she always had this big, bright smile that made me cheer up even when I was feeling lonely about my folks or something or the other. I remember her voice, her laughter. Sadly, I remember her cooking, or lack of… So, go ahead Reki, get in line to call me a baka all you want, but I remember her perfectly… Oh, I also remember her cute little panties, made her cute little butt look so good!

- Teacher's Comment: So sentimental and good-hearted… and you ruin it. Even in Elementary you were checking out a girl's T&A Department?

3. (For Aiko) Explain the dream you had of yourself and Kouta last night. Yes, don't deny it. I was watching through my Dragonov's Sniper Scope from over two kilometers away. If I tell you why, I'd have to kill you. (From Toyama Reki)

- Aiko: Oh no, you don't have to kill little old me for something like that. Let's see, sometimes it's so hard to remember my dreams to such a clear detail. I know it involved a whip, bondage and a video camera. Either that or Cillian Murphy…

- Akihisa: Inception ref!

- Aiko: Correct! I was watching that film when I feel asleep. So, what do you think Akihisa? Is he asleep or awake at the end?

- Akihisa: It's so obvious, really. Too obvious actually. He had already designed an auto-pilot…

- Teacher's Comment: …Wrong Nolan film there.

4. (For Teacher) Don't stop Aiko. (From Toyama Reki)

- Teacher: The nerve!

- Teacher's Comment: Indeed!

5. (For Himeji) You two are love rivals. LOVE RIVALS. All the Shoujo manga that I have read that involve love rivals doesn't end up well. How can you two still remain good friends? (From Toyama Reki)

- Himeji: Well, I guess reality is a bit different from fiction. I mean, I know that in real life friendships are broken by love triangles and such, but Minami and I are trying are best to keep our "competition" fair. It's not Minami's fault that she fell in love with the same boy I did, since I really can't blame her if I fell as well. And I care about her greatly. Love rivals in Shounen almost always become friends, right?

- Teacher's Comment: That's true, just look at Naruto and Sasuke… Well, bad example…

- Himeji: Naruto is a closeted Yaoi manga, I'll accept nothing else.

6. (For Shimada) You two are love rivals. LOVE RIVALS. All the Shoujo manga that I have read that involve love rivals doesn't end up well. How can you two still remain good friends? (From Toyama Reki)

- Shimada: I understand were you're coming from, but Himeji and I got that worked out. Heck, even if she wins and gets Aki, no matter how much it would hurt, I'd still be her friend. She's a very sweet girl and a very good friend. I see her almost like a sister, so we're more than just rivals…

- Teacher's Comment: Friendship is still just another way to love someone.

7. (For Shouko) How do you always know where Yuuji is? Don't tell me it's how I manage to follow him, through several electronic bugs placed in strategic locations. Don't ask me why, it's a Butei job. Can't reveal any more than that. (From Toyama Reki)

- Shouko: …Ms. Reki Toyama, or if you'd prefer in our native style, Toyama Reki-san. I will not ask you how or why you are tracking Yuuji, but please refrain from doing so. It may be a "Butei" job to do what you do, but it is a "wife's" job to do what I must. If you do not wish for this to escalate any further, leave Yuuji alone. Failure to comply will make this into an ugly affair, and no amount of Holmes or Lupin descendants will be enough to help you. Can't reveal any more than that.

- Yuuji: …Why do I have this paper! Teach, you're the one grading!

- Teacher's Comment: No way! Teacher does not wish to comment!

- Yuuji: Uh, Shouko? Let's just take it easy, I'm sure Reki means no harm…

8. (For Yuuji) How do you survive all of Shouko's tasering? And no, you cannot post a job bill for a Butei to protect you from her. I'll abuse my position as an S-Rank Butei and make sure no one takes that job. (From Toyama Reki)

- Yuuji: I'm next huh? Ah… My voice gives me strength? Seriously, how am I supposed to know? I don't think tasering can genuinely kill somebody, but I don't want to test that theory out either. And no, I don't think your entire system can stop that woman.

- Teacher's Comment: I actually agree.

9. (For Hideyoshi) If you are a boy, why the heck are you still acting like a girl whenever stuff happens like when your top was grabbed off by Akihisa during the swimming episode? If you're a boy, then act like one. By the way, there are a lot of posts from some people called the FFF Inquisition that ask for continuous observation on you and for someone to kill Akihisa. Don't know why though... (From Toyama Reki)

- Hideyoshi: Bad habit, I suppose. You see, acting so much on the drama club doesn't come without accidents. Someone steps on a piece of cloth or pulls what shouldn't be pulled and the action scene becomes a nude scene. So, we're instructed to quickly cover up, even if it does go without saying. In my case, since I act more on female roles than I do males, I'm always told to cover the "top" if such a case happens. To preserve the illusion, they say. I've done it so much that I unconsciously do it even when I'm not acting and have sincerely nothing to hide. So, again, bad habit. As for the FFF, just ignore them. They'll go away.

- Teacher's Comment: And a round of applause for our special guest Toyama Reki from Hidan no Aria, the kuudere-loli sniper! Crossover Cameos FTW!

10. (For Everyone) If you could turn in to one animal which animal would it be? (From Yoky2cool4u)

-Yuuji: Uh… This type of question again.

- Shouko: …Everyone got the same one.

- Akihisa: Cool, animals this time.

- Yuuji: Let's just do it like we did it last-

- FFF (#8): Hi!

- Yuuji: -time… …Give me patience. Take it away Akihisa.

- Akihisa: Okay! If I could turn into an animal I would obviously choose to turn into a gigantic T-Rex! That way I could fight together with Godzilla against King Kong while dodging all those barrels he throws at me, save the captive princess and go to a world tour, Rampage style!

- Yuuji: Seriously, a dinosaur? You'd be extinct my friend. I, for one, would choose to become an eagle! To fly away and roam the world, to be majestic and pure, the symbol for liberty and justice for all!

- Himeji: I'd pick a bunny. There just so cute and cuddly, and I'd get to eat carrots, and lettuce and then go hopping around while giving all the good boys and girls eggs on Easter.

- Minami: I'm not sure I'd want to be an animal, but, I'd say I would pick a reindeer. I don't know why, but I like them a lot.

- Hideyoshi: I would like to be a wolf! I mean, there just so strong looking and confident, howling into the moon with such a romantic majesty. Truly a wonderful animal!

- Kouta: Pussy.

- Shouko: …I'm afraid Kouta's answer could get us in trouble. That aside, I would want to be a swan. A beautiful swan that can only be turned back by their handsome Yuuji.

- Yuuko: No fair, Hideyoshi already picked out wolf. He knows it's my favorite animal too. And I will not compensate for a dog, so don't get smart-assed on me with its female term.

- Aiko: It starts with C and rhymes with "duck". Just kidding, I don't think a rooster would be the best animal for me. Maybe a butterfly or something, I don't know. I would have picked "pussy" too, but I already have one, so… …And I mean a cat, you pervs.

- Kubo: What better animal than a dolphin, huh. A mammal that can live underwater. Two worlds at once. Plus, they practice with their own sex.

- Shimizu: A black widow, care to take a guess why?

- Nemoto: I'd like to be a puppy. I mean, what's more adorable than a puppy. I could be given the breast-pillow treatment if I did!

- Yuka: Oh, I love hamsters, so maybe I wouldn't mind turning into one for a day. I own a little hamster at home that I could converse with and play. It'd be fun.

- Shunpei: I'd be a monkey. They were pretty popular in Hollywood for a time…

- Yusaku: I'd go with a lion. The alpha male does little else other than mate all day, so…

- FFF (#1): I would want to be a black panther. Nothing else screams power like a black panther does.

- FFF (#2): But I wanted to be a panther.

- FFF (#3): Told you he's selfish, maybe we can be tigers.

- FFF (#4): I wanna be a pony!

- FFF (#5): Pony? Really? A bit too girly for me. Why not a bear?

- FFF (#6): Like the one's on "Brother Bear", no thank you. A raccoon is much better.

- FFF (#7): Yeah, a raccoon! Or a tanuki!

- FFF (#8): A Platypus! I still don't know what it is!

- Akira: Maybe a hawk, or something. Having such a good eye has to be good for something I think.

- Hazuki: I want to be a clownfish. I want to swim in the ocean and make lots of friends and see scary animals but not too scary and have lots of fun. Or I could be a turtle and see the future because turtles live for like 500 years or something and I could see what happens in the future. Or a pony, but somebody already said pony and I really don't like ponies too much but I still like them… I wanna be a duck.

- Ironman: Whatever is in the Loch Ness, I wanna be it. So mysterious that no one knows its true identity yet so dangerous nobody dares to sink down below and find out. No that's my kind of animal!

- Kaoru (The Principal): A dove. I don't know why really, but I find them so beautiful that it's hard not to admire them.

- Teacher: I. Am. Batman!

- Teacher's Comment: …Or a robin would do.

11. (For FFF (#8)) Hi! How was your day? (From Yoky2cool4u)

- FFF (#8): Hi!

- FFF (#1): WAIT! What the-? Why does he get his own question! He's practically not even a canon character! Sure, give the almost-OC his own-

- FFF (#8): How rude. Must you interrupt other people's test questions? How childish…

- FFF (#1): Why you little mother-

- FFF (#8): Well my dear test, I've had a splendid day. The sun has been shining, the birds chirping, and I just leveled up my entire party on Super Mario RPG! Retro, I know. So, how was yours?

- FFF (#1): -goose… I hate him…

- Teacher's Comment: There's always one like him, somewhere.

12. (For Akihisa) If I'm an idiot ... I'm a smarter idiot than you! If you could do something for the rest of your life what would it be? (From Yoky2cool4u)

- Akihisa: The test is insulting me again. It worries me that I'm used to it. Okay! If I could do something for the rest of my life it would be adventuring throughout the whole world! Sailing the seven seas and fighting pirates who can turn their bodies into sand, while fighting in a war against a guy who has a mask and under the mask is the guy everyone knew was under there but wanted to believe he wasn't he but he really was… Actually, I take it back. I'm cool with just eating fancy tuna for the rest of my life.

- Teacher's Comment: Smarter idiot? As a teacher, I can't comprehend that.

- Akihisa: She's smarter than you, eh?

- Teacher's Comment: Don't forget who grading this now…

13. (For Yuuji) I think your idea for the non-living army was stupid and Akihisa's was genius. Mario would beat your army anytime! Here's the question! Can you sneeze with your eyes open? (From Yoky2cool4u)

- Yuuji: Hey now! Why is the test grading me itself? Seriously! I don't care about Akihisa's idea! Regardless, no, I cannot. It's physically impossible to do so, since your eyes are forced shut even for the briefest of moments. Not sure if someone out the can do it, but you should go ask Ripley's and not me.

- Teacher's Comment: The test is grading itself? God, I don't want to be out of the job!

14. (For Akihisa) I think you picked the best answer possible when picking the non-living army thing. If you could sled down a pyramid which would you choose and why? (From Yoky2cool4u)

A) A cardboard box

B) A rock

C) A beaver

D) A towel

- Akihisa: Well, well, well. Who's the idiot now? Can't be me since I picked the best answer out of everyone. In your face Shouko! Now then, if I had to sled down a pyramid I'd of course would pick "B", a rock. Because, who wouldn't want to slide down a pyramid with a guy who could go toe-to-toe with Vin Diesel in Fast Five?

- Teacher's Comment: You know, I heard somewhere that Dwayne doesn't like to be called like that anymore.

15. (For Kouta) I don't like you that much. I'd bite you on the arm. Great, now I'm answering questions. Will you ever quit being a pervert? (From Yoky2cool4u)

- Kouta: Never.

- Teacher's Comment: I'm seriously going to subtract points if this keeps up.

16. (For Kouta) Have you ever fainted from blood loss? (From Misguided Shinigami)

- Kouta: I have. You see, seeing some "pretty" sights makes it hard to stop the nosebleeds, which does make my head feel lighter and can induce fainting. It doesn't help that the little blood that remains does not remain in my head during those moments…

- Teacher's Comment: You are one weird little man.

17. (For FFF) Why do you wear cloaks? They must have cost a lot from a cosplay shop. (From Misguided Shinigami)

- FFF (#1): Well, my dear Misguided Shinigami, allow me to guide you. You see, our cloaks are ordered from a fine establishment of the highest quality pieces-

- FFF (#2): Didn't we order them on Ebay?

- FFF (#1): Yes, thank you. From Ebay.

- FFF (#3): Ebay? Now you tell me. After I kept my grandmother awake all night making this thing!

- FFF (#4): I found the cloak on Ebay, but not the mask…

- FFF (#5): That explains the potato sack on your head.

- FFF (#4): It was all I could find!

- FFF (#1): Just one. ONE question is all I ask for us to be able to answer without seeming like a bunch of retarded fools-

- FFF (#6): Retarded is an offensive word. I'll sue you.

- Akihisa: Chapter One ref!

- FFF (#1): Akihisa, get out of here! And screw you #6 or whatever your name is, I can say whatever I want. If we can just get back to the-

- FFF (#7): …

- FFF (#1): -test. …For a second there I thought you were going to interrupt me.

- FFF (#7): What, oh no. Please, carry on.

- FFF (#1): What, really? You mean it? Okay! My dear reviewer. Our cloaks are a bit pricey, but gathered at the right spots we have managed to preserve our-

- FFF (#8): Hi!

- FFF (#1): AAAAFAAAAUAAAAACAAAAAAAAKAAA AAYAAAAAAOAAAAAAAAU!

- Teacher's Comments: Hey! No subliminal messages!

18. (For Shouko) Recite the binary code alphabet in five seconds. (From Misguided Shinigami)

- Shouko: …Binary Code. A is 01000001. B is 01000010. C is 010-... Sorry, that's all I can write is just five seconds.

- Teacher's Comment: I just love actual test question on this test. Makes me so happy!

19. (For Shouko) Can I cut off your hair? (From Misguided Shinigami)

- Shouko: …No.

- Teacher's Comment: Shouko, dear. Don't start this one word response thing.

- Shouko: …Would you prefer: "Please do not cut of my hair, because I actually like having it long and I have painstakingly taken care of keeping it straight and knot free for years now since I was in Elementary and wish to preserve it this way and not ruin it on the whims of a test question."

- Teacher's Comment: …I, ah… …Very good Shouko.

20. (For Shouko) Punch Yuuji and I'll give you a hairband. (From Misguided Shinigami)

- Shouko: …Okay, just let us get outside and I'll do so.

- Yuuji: Hey! For a hairband?

- Shouko: …I just take any excuse to touch you.

- Yuuji: …

- Teacher's Comment: What a strange love…

21. (For Himeji) Are you related to Orihime Inoue (BLEACH)? (From Misguided Shinigami)

- Himeji: Um, no. We're both Japanese, but that's about it. I guess our personalities are similar, but I've never even met her in person.

- Teacher's Comment: More crossovers!

22. (For Himeji) Are you related to Rangiku Matsumoto (BLEACH)? (From Misguided Shinigami)

- Himeji: …Is it the breasts? I'm not related to girls who have big breasts, okay. Isn't she, like, a Shinigami or something? I'm human. I can't be related to her. My family consists of my parents, my grandparents, myself and my third-uncle Mizuki from my father's side who's a ninja of the Leaf Village and got in trouble trying to take it over. So stop wild mass guessing!

- Teacher's Comment: You're related to whom?

23. (For Himeji) What's your IQ? Can I have a ST war with you based on IQ? (From Misguided Shinigami)

- Himeji: I don't know the exact number of my Intelligence Quotation, but I've been told it's rather high. Guess it can't be if I don't even know the number… XD. Anyways, you could have an ST war here, but you'd first have to take the entrance test in order to give you points based on the classes offered here. I mean, high IQ is good, but here we measure what that IQ can bring to different topics, not the IQ as a whole.

- Teacher's Comment: Very good Himeji. Spoken like a true professional here at Fumizuki. We're lucky to have you.

24. (For Shimada) Do you want Hazuki to be in Fumizuki when she's older? If you were a guy, who would you go for at Fumizuki? If Himeji had moved away, who would your best friend be (disregarding Aki-chan.) Do you wanna be a pro wrestler, ever? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Shimada: Hazuki? Sure! She's got the brains to be here and get pretty high up. Heck, she'll be a scene stealer from me, of sorts. And if I were a guy? Go for? You mean romantically? Well, I'd say Himeji based on looks and personality, her cup size is F for crying out loud. Then again, she's too dear to me to consider her as such, so my guess would be I'd go for Yuuko. Don't ask me why, it's just she's got this cool attitude that were I a guy I'd be all over it. Since I'm not, I like the stupid ones. Were Himeji to move away my BFF would probably be Hideyoshi, since he's the most grounded of the group and I can relate to him better without worrying about being stripped naked in his mind (Kouta) or violent protective girlfriends misinterpreting our relationship (Yuuji). Then again, I'd have to ask Yuuko for permission first… And, no. I like pro wrestling, but just watching it is enough. I do not want to be grabbing sweaty girl in weird postures…

Teacher's Comment: Who's in the mood for some WWE Divas tonight?

25. (For Himeji) What do you plan your future job to be? If you can't think of anything, you could work for the government and make them meals. I mean you no offence, just listen! You could feed the army little bits of food until they are immune to poison, and you could poison their enemies! You could work with Kouta. Do you like Kouta? As a friend, of course. Sorry for insulting your cooking. Here's a piece of truce chocolate! (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Himeji: Not a chef, I'll tell you now. Maybe a vet or a doctor of sorts. I just like helping people. And I appreciate the thought, but government work seems kind of a 180 degree turn from what I would want. And no offence taken, really. If someone bad at something they should be told about it! Why Kouta? As a ninja you mean? I don't really see him in that line of work. And I do like him, since he's pretty funny at times. And of course as a friend, or I'd have to negotiate with Aiko a few things… Moving on, thank you for the chocolate!

- Teacher's Comment: Hello Nurse!

26. (For Kouta) Have you ever thought about getting a DeviantART account to show off sample pictures? A couple of good ones circulating might increase business! How would you feel about working for the government as a ninja? Maybe one that distributes lethal poison to enemies? Like Himeji's cooking? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Kouta: I have. I made one not too long ago, for reasons. The username is HairlessBallsack69 and I have tons of my best shots around. You could just look up the folders with the person's name up and see her in all her glory-ious modeling. Yes, modeling. And no, the government is too strict on nudity. Despite Himeji's crème-de-crap being a favorite ammunition of mine, I'll use it for my own purposes. It be too dangerous to let it fall into the wrong hands.

- Teacher's Comment: I'm going to make sure to report you.

27. (For Himeji) More chocolate. (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Himeji: …Thanks?

- Teacher's Comment: It actually came with chocolates… Please pick them up once you've finished your test.

28. (For Ironman) Pick a list of favorite students to torture excluding Akihisa. (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Ironman: Well, well. Excluding the number one idiot of the world, I'd say my list is still pretty extensive. Those fools in the cloaks that make up the FFF are a personal favorite, with all their identity issues and such. More so, idiots like the rest of the F class are pretty easy to torture. In such ways: camera films destroyed (Kouta), forced student-tutoring with Class A's leader (Yuuji), repeated viewing of Mulan's "I'll Make A Man Out Of You" scene (Hideyoshi), forced student-tutoring with that crazed lesbian psycho girl (Shimada), and listening to the Principal's life story of who she got to where she is (Himeji). You see girl-who-Akihisa-always-associates-with-pornography, no one is safe from me, especially Class F. Even if Himeji does have the ability to avoid me, hmm…

- Teacher's Comment: Seriously? You're the damn personalization of a ruthless dictator.

- Ironman: That's what I'm aiming at!

- Teacher's Comment: …I see.

29. (For Akira) Don't take this in the wrong way, but you are very pretty and nice. Why don't you have a boyfriend? (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Akira: Oh, don't worry about asking stuff like that. Actually, I've had close "friends" in the past, but nothing too serious. Currently, I guess taking care of Aki has become my top priority, so it's moved my "find-my-significant-other" tab further down the to-do list. Still, I'm still young, I can wait a bit. Besides, I haven't seen anyone my age in this entire series…

- Teacher's Comment: Hey now, keep the wall intact.

30. (For Shimada) Feelings on Justin Beiber? I so want an angry response, so I picked you. (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Shimada: JB? The pop kid? I hear he's a big thing in the English speaking countries, even if it has died down a bit. Actually, I'm a bit indifferent to him. When I first heard one of his songs, "Baby" I think, I thought it was a girl singing. Later on I found out it was a boy. Seeing his pictures, I'll admit he looked cute when he was a child, but as he grew he looks too feminine for my tastes. Heck, Hideyoshi looks boyish next to him! Still, for what it's worth, I don't hate the guy or anything. Sorry about not giving you a better rant, but I guess all I can say it's that he looks like a lesbian trying to look like a dude, used to sing like a little girl and quite possibly has more money than I'll ever see... Throwing up not-withstanding.

- Teacher's Comment: I'm actually fond of his "As Long As You Love Me" single, even if I like the Backstreet Boys' better.

31. (For Akihisa) If you had to marry either Shimada or Hideyoshi, who would it be? You'll get a follow up question depending on your answer. Also, you have to pick between them unless you want to deal with an angry Shouko, Yuuji, and Me. And I am a very scary person when I'm mad. (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Akihisa: Wait. An angry Shouko and Yuuji? What'd I do to them? I understand you Porny, but them? Really. Okay, let's just answer before the teacher takes my paper away. I would marry Minami.

- Teacher's Comment: …You actually answered?

32. (For Akihisa) Stop. Calling. Me. Porn. (From KoMonkeyXXX)

- Akihisa: We'll. Get. To. That. In. A. Bit.

- Teacher's Comment: Look. For. Chapter. 05. Question. #. 31.

33. (For Everyone) If you could destroy/kill anything/anyone, what or who would it be and why? That includes characters from anime, manga, TV, movies, books, western comics, video games and plays. (From Exorcist-Dono)

- Yuuji: …Again, huh?

- Hideyoshi: I think the faculty is getting lazy.

- Kouta: Agreed.

- Akihisa: This is just to make sure we don't copy each other…

- Yuuji: Whatever. This time we're killing something, so think like a murderer. You know the drill Akihisa.

- Akihisa: Right! If I could destroy anything from anything, it would definitely be Komatsu from Toriko. I mean, really? We get an awesome story about food and fighting, tough guys fighting DBZ-style against weird opponents and awesome animals and a mysterious world; yet the story always shifts back to this dumb little guy who is usually crying over Toriko or crying over something else. Then they want you to accept that the dwarf is a genius of some sort, but do they show it? No! He gets so annoying that it makes me like Toriko (the manga, not the dude) a little less. So… long rant short, Komatsu insert-last-name-here.

- Yuuji: Geez, Akihisa. Didn't know that side of you. For me it would honestly be Alice from the Resident Evil / Biohazard films. She's so annoying and important and stuff that it takes the tension away from the films themselves. I don't remember her from the games! Use Claire Redfield! If she's badass, I'll accept it. Not the Director's squeeze turned Mary Sue!

- Himeji: Seems like this reviewer hit a soft spot. Er…? Destroy, huh? …I guess I could do without Peter Parker from The Amazing Spider-Man reboot. It's not that I hate him or anything, since Andrew Garfield is a good actor and has a nice ass, but it's just the way they use the character makes him look like a punk rather than the hero Tobey Maguire previously portrayed. Just look at the final scene, spoiler alert by the way, when Gwen's father died. He did make Peter promise not to get close to Gwen, but can't you at least attend her father's funeral who you failed to protect? Even more so, at the end, they're all like "OMG, let's like, make out in my father's tomb. That'd be so sexy!"… So, yeah. Matter fact, kill the reboot.

- Shimada: Mizuki? And you're talking about the boys. For me, and I don't have a problem admitting it, I would love it if they did away with Twilight. I know they won't, since it is a Hollywood cash cow at the moment, but still. I won't rant about it much, since you can just Google Anti-Twilight and you'll get everything you'd need. Still, what could have been a good vampire romance became a preteen girl's wet dream with a totally bland main character.

- Hideyoshi: I guess I would destroy, well, maybe not destroy but at least cancel the Oda Nobuna series. I have nothing against making legendary Japanese figures into pretty girls or lolis, but when you alter history so much just to create an ideal generic harem anime with an unlikable lead, it goes a little bit over the top. The character design is pretty and a few jokes work, but other than that, it is a very empty experience for those wanting something more.

- Kouta: Yuuki Rito. To Love-Ru is perfect. Darkness is godly. It doesn't need no idiot protagonist who has Black Cat's Eve naked in front of him and just cowers away. He's an insult to men everywhere. Those girls deserve a real man… Or each other…

- Shouko: …I'd pick the Elementary television series. I'll give it the benefit of the doubt since, at the time of this writing, it has not yet aired, but I find it unnecessary. Watson a woman? No thank you. I'm all up for the feminist movement, but that's just genderswapping. Watch Sherlock instead.

- Yuuko: Ah… I really don't know. Being a yaoi fangirl you'd think I'd easily say something like Elizabeth Middleford from Kuroshitsuji or Sakura Haruno from Naruto, but I actually like them. …Let's see. I guess I wouldn't mind if they got rid of Amu Hinamori from Shugo Chara. With great female characters like Utau, Rima and even Yaya; Amu just distracts from it all. Still, I don't really hate her, so…

- Aiko: Let's see… I'd kill His Dark Materials' Will. I like the kid and all, but I shipped Lyra with Roger at the beginning of the first book. Granted, without Roger's, well, you know, the story itself wouldn't have moved forwards the way it did so I can understand it. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

- Kubo: Easy. Sherlock's Irene Adler. Don't get me wrong, it's not for some sort of shipping thing between Benedict and Martin, but rather that the destroyed her character. She was a smart upper-class lady who knew best to avoid Sherlock Holmes and earn his admiration. Not this nudist dominatrix who only uses her sex appeal and can't find her way out of a paper bag without Moriarty's help.

- Shimizu: Yuuno Scrya! Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha is a yuri anime between Nanoha and her beloved Fate. There is no room for that ferret! Just like my dear Onee-sama and I, Nanoha and Fate deserve their undying devotion and all those lustful nights filled with womanly fluids… Ah… Sorry, lost myself there for a sec… Yeah, I know. He did show her the magic and he is a friend, but, but, BUT, only a friend.

- Nemoto: I honestly would have liked to say Romeo from Romeo and Juliet, but it is a mood point since he does die at the end. Why? I'm just tired of romance to be tied to those two idiots. Really? They are not the perfect couple people. Just two brats who wanted to be together to a sickening degree and ended up killing themselves to "accomplish" it. Don't take me wrong, though, I love the story, it's just that the leads irk me a bit.

- Yuka: All those Frankenstein films would be my target. The original is, well, a classic and all, but it still doesn't have the "feeling" of the original novel. For God's sake, Frankenstein is the doctor, the twenty-something doctor, not the monster. I know more people know this now than before, but it's still annoying that there hasn't been a single film that actually follows the novel's plot. You'd think it wouldn't be too hard.

- Shunpei: I'd have Tingle from The Legend Of Zelda killed off. I have no idea what his appeal here in Japan is, but I agree with the Americans: he has to die. The dude looks horrendous!

- Yusaku: …Ah, I'm up for killing of Naruto from, uh, Naruto. The dude has been over obsessed with Sasuke every since the ending of the initial series and ruined everything it had going for it. Hinata confesses. He ignores it. Sakura confesses. Calls her a liar. Sasuke farts. Goes running like a bitch to smell it… I hate him, the series should focus on Kakashi and Guy.

- FFF (#1): I'd kill Captain Picard from Star Trek, The Next Generation. Sorry Prof. X, but Captain Kirk is the one true hero of the franchise!

- FFF (#2): While I don't agree with you there boss, speaking of Prof. X reminds me that I'd kill of Hugh Jackman's Wolverine. I wanted to see Cyclops!

- FFF (#3): What, no! Wolverine is smexy! If anything, kill off that damn dog from Duck Hunt. I hate him so much!

- FFF (#4): I actually like the doggy, he's funny. For me it would be Captain America. Why isn't there a Captain Japan?

- FFF (#5): Tony Stark, hands down, need no reason.

- FFF (#6): …My mom. No seriously, Big Mom from One Piece. That's one huge bi-

- FFF (#7): Hey, language. Anyway, for me it's that Adam guy from Power Rangers. Who does he think he is replacing Jason, huh?

- FFF (#8): Oh, I pick Jason! Not the red one, the one with the machete. He should really just die.

- Akira: Light Yagami, I'll never forgive him for killing of L. And Beyond Birthday.

- Hazuki: …Wha-? Why would I want to kill anyone? Although, I'd like it if the Trix Rabbit finally got his breakfast cereal, so maybe they could do something to those kids. But not kill them, just scare them with some big scary monster costume or something like that. The poor bunny just wants to eat…

- Ironman: You know what, screw it! I was going to say Duke Nukem for making me wait twelve years for his new game, but I agree with the precious little thing. Kill those damn cereal-hugging kids! They deserve to die of starvation, burn in hell, come back, and die again. Trix are for kids my hairy a-

- Kaoru (The Principal): Now, now. Language. In my case I'll pick that annoying cat from Disney's Cinderella. Too trouble making for my tastes.

- Teacher: Negi Springfield. He teaches a group of beauties including Evangeline McDowell… and I have Akihisa. Kill the brat.

- Teacher's Comment: Either that or replace him for Kotarou or Fate, either one would be better protagonists.

34. (For Every Girl) If you could be any of the following Vocaloids which would you be? Miku Hatsune, Rin Kagamine, or Luka Megurine. Oh, and explain! (From Excorcist-Dono)

- Kauro (The Principal): Alright, ladies. Girl power time, take it away Mizuki.

- Himeji: Hatsune Miku, of course. She's just so cute and cheerful that it's hard not to admire her. Plus, she has such a cute singing voice.

- Shimada: Agreed. I like Hatsune Miku too. Nothing against Rin or Luka, but Miku is the top for a reason.

- Hideyoshi: I'm not a girl. If anything I'd pick Len Kagamine!

- Shouko: …Luka. Not sure why.

- Yuuko: …I'd be Rin. But before any of you jump to any conclusions this has nothing to do with our status as the twin sister. Even if Len and Rin seem too close at times…

- Aiko: Yuuko's in denial about it but I'd pick Rin too. She's hot, can sing, and has one good looking brother. And yes sweety, Len and Rin are practically canon, so…

- Shimizu: Luka. Miku is just too loud for my tastes and Rin has a brother complex, so I prefer her.

- Yuka: Hatsune Miku hands down. Not just her voice or looks, but that girl has quite the fashion sense. She wears clothes that I find absolutely adorable and quite sexy. I wonder how I'd look in them…

- Akira: Rin Kagamine. Aki can be Len.

- Hazuki: Miku! She's the best, I wanna be her!

- Teacher's Comment: Just wait for it, next question will be: "Guys, which DBZ dude are you?"

35. (For Every Boy) How long can you run to Alaska from Japan with time bombs permanently glue to you? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Akihisa: "We're on a time bomb, before the night's gone. Let's just do it right now, do it come on."

- Yuuji: …Ignoring him, I have no clue. If the bomb blew up then I'd reach Alaska faster.

- Hideyoshi: Yes! I'm considered a boy now! Okay, I cannot run from Japan to Alaska. I'd faint just running from Kyoto to Tokyo.

- Kouta: Depends. What's on Alaska?

- Kubo: Ice, and people. Worst place for you with all the clothing they have to wear. For me it would take me weeks to get there, but I'm sure I'd be in pieces by then.

- Shunpei: Ha! I'd get there in about a week.

- Yusaku: A week you say, I'd get there in five days!

- Akihisa: "…Wait. Please don't make me wait."

- Teacher's Comment: The test actually instructs to place some sort of time bomb on you boys. I'll… just take it as a joke and leave it at that.

36. (For Every Girl) What kind of tortures you can think for the boys above? Full Details. (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Himeji: Tortures? I'm not Ironman. I don't really like to torture them, but you could argue that I could make them dinner or something, right?

- Shimada: Depends on how stupid the get. I'll punch their lights out, break their backs and follow it up with a kick directly at their groins. But that's just me…

- Shouko: …Electric therapy.

- Yuuko: I don't torture anyone, except when Hideyoshi asks for it. Just beat them up a little and they'll be fixed, nothing major.

- Aiko: If you ask for full details… I first like to take it easy, so let's have an example, okay. Let's imagine Kouta did something bad, like say, take a photo of a girl who's not me. Naughty, right? So I come up to him and make sure to take away that awful camera he has filled with other girls' naughty bits. Then, I make sure to remove every other camera he has on him… Five in his person, was it not. Extra care were they're hidden at, of course. Once that's done, I put them away on my person, and tell him if he's man enough to take them back then he should just grab them were I placed them. Failure to comply, they're mine. If that's the case, I'll give them back to him in about a week, with only photos of me on their memory. Oh, and that's not counting the video camera…

- Shimizu: …Girl, damn! I… Aiko, you're worse than them. I can think of a few things, but I'm not sure Aiko's is much torture…

- Teacher's Comment: …Aiko. What am I going to do with you?

37. (For Himeji) How long can you (Himeji & Shimada) be friends since you both are trying to get Akihisa's affection? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Himeji: Well, as discussed earlier, I hope for quite some time. Despite Minami and I having similar goals, we still share a strong bond that I believe can't be just severed by romantic entanglements. My feelings for Yoshii are strong, but I care a lot about Minami.

- Teacher's Comment: BFF4L!

38. (For Shimada) How long can you (Himeji & Shimada) be friends since you both are trying to get Akihisa's affection? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Shimada: Until one of us dies, I guess. Really now, I have no intention of letting our crushes ruin our friendship. Sure, we can argue at times, and she got really mad at me when I kissed Aki, but deep down we're still friends. I hope to remain that way.

- Teacher's Comment: The day will never come when I understand what you two see in him…

39. (For Kubo) How long can you two (Kubo & Shimizu) stick together if you both were bound with a chain? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Kubo: Until nature calls, for either of us. I can think of much better people to be tied up to than her.

- Teacher's Comment: …I was actually given a chain…

40. (For Shimizu) How long can you two (Kubo & Shimizu) stick together if you both were bound with a chain? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Shimizu: Either until the chain is removed or one of us finds a saw…

- Teacher's Comment: …No joke, it came with a chain.

41. (For Hideyoshi) Could you and your sister mimic Len & Rin? Make a PV and songs of it? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Hideyoshi: See! Someone sees me as Len! Of course, I'd love that. Uh… too bad Aneue isn't too good at singing, since she gets so shy over it.

- Teacher's Comment: Strange. I heard her sing once and she was fantastic…

- Hideyoshi: About that…

42. (For Yuuko) Could you and your brother mimic Len & Rin? Make a PV and songs of it? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Yuuko: …I, er, I find them likable and all, but I don't think I have time to copy those idols at the moment. I like them quite a bit and find the adorable, but Hideyoshi and I are a bit "different" from those two…

- Teacher's Comment: The only difference is your hair.

43. (For Ironman) Who is the most cunning? Ironman or the Principal? Why is that? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Ironman: I'm the brawn while she's the brains. What he ideas can't fix my fist and "remedial" classes sure can!

- Teacher's Comment: And what does that make me?

44. (For Kaoru (The Principal)) Who is the most cunning? Ironman or the Principal? Why is that? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Kaoru (The Principal): That depends. He's better at dealing with the troublesome students while I'm better at encouraging the more higher level once. It's a team effort.

- Teacher's Comment: Still not seeing where I fit in all this…

45. (For Aiko) Who's more perverted, you or Kouta? Why is that? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Aiko: I'd say we both are roughly the same. A word of the wise to all the boys reading this, we girls like pervy stuff too. We're just better at hiding it, well, most of us are. Kouta has his camera; I have my little "toys"…

- Teacher's Comment: …Really?

46. (For Aiko) Do you know how dangerous you are to the boys? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Aiko: Oh, come on! I'm not that bad for their health! What can such a little, innocent girl do to all those mean, perverted boys?

- Teacher's Comment: What indeed…

47. (For Kouta) Have you considered finding a better hobby? Considering that you could lose more blood when Aiko is around. (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Kouta: I… have other hobbies. They're just illegal.

- Teacher's Comment: I will not ask.

48. (For Shouko) Have you ever tried using a stun gun on Yuuji? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Shouko: …No. Tell me more.

- Teacher's Comment: Wha-? No, no more info.

49. (For Shouko) Hypnosis? Could you demonstrate on Yuuji? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Shouko: …I'd love to. Sadly I don't have one in possession at the moment. Yuuji will just have to wait.

- Teacher's Comment: Thank goodness.

Yuuji: Thank goodness.

50. (For Akira) What's the worst you can do to your bro if you were locked up with him in a vault? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Akira: The worst? I've never thought about that. I'd love to just toy with him around as if he were little again, but he's so "personal-space" right now that it's pretty hard. I could force him if we were locked up, but I'm not that mean…

Teacher's Comment: "That mean"?

51. (For Akihisa) Akira or the FFF you want to be locked up with in a vault? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Akihisa: Akira, definitely. I'm stuck with her at home as it is, so it's not that big a change. I prefer her to those smelly guys any day!

- Teacher's Comment: I once got stuck in an elevator with an old man with a bad case of gas. Not a pretty evening.

52. (For Akihisa) What is the derivative of 2x3 then multiply by 3? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

Akihisa: Ah! Math! Okay, 2 times 3 is 23, then if you multiply it by 3 you have 232323… right?

Teacher's Comment: You lost me…

53. (For Shunpei & Yusaku (Third Year)) From 2 boxes (box A & B), which box has the grand prize? A minute is the time limit, if not you both would be strap to an anchor and dropped to the sea floor or if one of you chooses correctly, you get the grand prize! (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Shunpei: Grand prize, sweet! Now then, using my art of predictability, it obviously is box A.

- Yusaku: No way dude, B all the way. B as in box, duh?

- Teacher's Comment: "Note to Teacher: Either option they choose, both of them will be dropped to the bottom of the sea with an anchor tied to them."

54. (For FFF) Who's your leader? No numbers but name. (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- FFF (#1): That would be me, my name is Ryo Sugawa. God it feels good to say it.

- FFF (#2): Wait… You have a name. My God! I don't know you anymore!

- Teacher's Comment: I'm a bit surprised myself to be honest.

55. (For FFF) Can you balance a bomb without dropping it? The bomb is activated if it makes contact with any other objects besides your body. (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- FFF (#1): I guess? The real question would be why would we even have a bomb?

- FFF (#2): It really boils down to if we're naked or not.

- FFF (#1): …?

- Teacher's Comment: …?

56. (For FFF) If you guys were locked up in a vault with no food or water, would you guys eat each other to survive? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- FFF (#1): …Ew.

- FFF (#2): …In what sense?

- FFF (#1): Screw you! Wait, no! That sounds worse. Let's just say, no, we do not eat each other. Ever.

- FFF (#8): Damn right!

- Teacher's Comment: You're right. It does sound worse.

57. (For Yuuji) How would you describe Shouko? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Yuuji: Psychotic.

- Teacher's Comment: Now, now. Don't be mean.

- Yuuji: …Fine. She's a sweet girl, a bit dense, but very smart. She's too trusting and has a very "Fairy Tale" view on love. She's elegant and classy, highly violent but somewhat good natured. She's a bit on the short side on both her height and cup size, but still gets admirers regardless. Overall she's a nice girl, who's a really good friend, who unfortunately was just born with a life-long problem called "The Yandere Effect".

- Teacher's Comment: Not sure if you're praising her or not.

58. (For Yuuji) Why would you bail on your honeymoon from Shouko? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Yuuji: Because I have no intention of actually going through with it!

- Teacher's Comment: I want to go to Puerto Rico for my honeymoon… if I ever get married.

59. (For Yuuji) Would you marry Shouko if you were poisoned? (From Angel of Light and Hope)

- Yuuji: What does that… I don't even… What? Why would I marry her if I was poisoned? Does she have the antidote? Do I want to poison her and share the pain, like "Romeo & Juliet"? It doesn't make sense! I'd die if I were poisoned!

- Teacher's Comment: This time around the question came with Himeji's cooking…

- Himeji: Hey!

60. (For Everyone) If you got stuck on a deserted island, who would you prefer to have as a companion there? (From Lil'MissEya)

- Yuuji: Three times the charm guys.

- Shouko: …I know who I'd pick.

- Yuuji: Wait your turn. Akihisa…

- Akihisa: Alright, let's go! I find myself stuck in a desert island, all alone and nearly out of food. Then, all of the sudden, a mysterious figure appears! I get so scared I think my pants are gonna turn brown, but no! Wait! It's can't be! It is! The one person I would love to be stuck there with! Ladies and gentlemen, I'm stuck on a desert island with none other than Super Meat Boy!

- Yuuji: All that lead up for that? I'll just settle with being stuck there with Captain Jack Sparrow.

- Himeji: …Yoshii…

- Shimada: …Don't think I'll say Aki, because I won't. He'd rather be with some video game character than with some actual company… the jerk.

- Hideyoshi: My dad. He was in a survival training program when he was younger, so as long as he doesn't cook the meals, I'll be okay.

- Kouta: Brooke Shields.

- Shouko: …Yuuji.

- Yuuko: We already knew that Shouko… I'd settle on anyone familiar. In a situation like that keeping calm is the key to survival.

- Aiko: Ko~u~ta~kun…

- Kubo: While I'd love to be stuck there with Akihisa, he's appetite would unfortunately cause our death in a matter of days. So, I'd rather be stuck there with someone smart like Shouko or Yuuko. Actually, now that I mention it, Yuuko is better. We can then talk about our similar sexual preferences… even if hers are a bit weird.

- Shimizu: My dear Onee-sama of course. We'd have to hug tight during the cold nights and if it rains and we get drenched the only solution would be to take our clothes off…

- Nemoto: Who else but my dear Yuka? She's need me to protect her from all those savage beasts while I need her to keep me warm and cuddly.

- Yuka: …Hug yourself. I prefer a real man there if I'm going to be stuck. The last thing I need with small provisions is someone "lacking".

- Shunpei: Mizuki Himeji of course. Someone already said about having to strip in the pouring rain, and there's nothing like those big jugs dripping with rain…

- Yusaku: …Dude, that's a fantasy right there. I'll settle for anyone who doesn't smell.

- FFF (#1): Funny you should say that. I'll settle for anyone, anything other than these idiots!

- FFF (#2): Wha-? And I was going to choose you. Right. Now that you have a name you're too good for us, huh?

- FFF (#3): My grandma!

- FFF (#4): I'll be happy with any girl… except your grandma dude.

- FFF (#5): Maybe Himeji, like some other soon-to-be-dead guy said up there!

- FFF (#6): I'd settle for Shouko or Yuuko… Or Akihisa in a dress.

- FFF (#7): Wait a minute guys. Why hasn't any of us chosen the one true idol? Hideyoshi! We could all be happy with our lovely goddess Hideyoshi watching over us. Am I right or am I right?

- FFF (#8): Tom Hanks.

- Akira: Akihisa of course. I'd be worried sick if I was stuck there and couldn't get home to see him. Better to have him there with me.

- Hazuki: I like that too. I want my Idiot Big Bro to be there, since he can save me and keep me secure until help comes. And, and I can tell him stories to past the time and we can swim in the ocean too!

- Ironman: Anyone actually. The strong eat; the weak are the meal! Just give me a wimp and I'll be okay!

- Kaoru (The Principal): …My husband.

- Teacher: God! You're marr-I mean, I would be okay with a boat rower who studied woods craftsmanship…

- Teacher's Comment: Or Superman.

61. (For Yuuji) If Shouko finally had enough of your... denial... and gave up on you, plus acted cold towards you, how'd you react? (From Lil'MissEya)

- Yuuji: I'd be honestly surprised, but I think it would be a meaningful event nonetheless. Question is, what denial? I'm in no denial people!

- Teacher's Comment: All this time and still on the first stage?

62. (For Himeji) Is your pink hair natural? How about your eyes? You know, I once created an OC (Original Character) with pink hair and purple eyes before I watched the anime. (From Lil'MissEya)

- Himeji: It is, and I'm not showing you any proof… XD! My eyes are too, they say I got them from my mom. And that OC must have been quite the looker, right?

- Teacher's Comment: I got my eyes from my father, the milkman not the guy back at home.

63. (For Hideyoshi) Aww, aren't you just a cute little boy? Anyways, what would you choose, wearing a dress all your life or wearing a t-shirt and jeans? (From Lil'MissEya)

- Hideyoshi: …Thank you, I appreciate it. And I would love to just wear t-shirts and jeans, but the universe seems to love me in a dress or skirts or female bathing suits. Thank God my uniform is male, otherwise I'd be worse than that Jun Watarase.

- Teacher's Comment: For what it's worth, girly looking boys are quite popular with girls now a days. As long as you have the goods…

64. (For Shimada) Did you have any suspicion at all that the doll Hazuki gave you was bought by Akihisa? (From Lil'MissEya)

- Shimada: …The doll? Wait. Hazuki, you little twerp… I didn't actually, but what's Aki doing buying my kid sister dolls for me. If he wants to say something he should just be direct…

- Teacher's Comment: Still don't see it.

65. (For Kouta) Do you always have a camera near you? (From Lil'MissEya)

- Kouta: Please look at Ch. 3 Q. #15 for an answer. You never know when a once-in-a-lifetime shot is waiting…

- Teacher's Comment: Short answer: "Yes, yes he does."

66. (For Hazuki) Do you have a crush on "Idiot Big Bro"? (From Lil'MissEya)

- Hazuki: Heh, heheh… I do, I think. He's pretty likable, so I like him a lot. But he belongs to my sister, so…

- Shimada: Hazuki! Stop getting me involved in your answers!

- Teacher's Comment: Ah, little siblings. Adorable to everyone except the elder siblings. Still, this will be on the test.

- Shimada: …Wait, wasn't this the test.

-0-

The Author Rants About:

One-Shots

Not a rant as much at it is an announcement. After I've updated these little fic here (& updated the Kuroshitsuji "Year One" fic); I'm going to start making One-Shots again, and possibly make a few of Baka & Test. So, don't be surprised if you see a few popping up around here during this month and the next, with both "canon" and crack pairings. Please look forwards to it!


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